Stepping

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. - Ezekiel 36:26

Dipping my heart back into the idea of ministry opens a world of possibilities. I've been parked for quite some time now, walking through a season of dryness, silence and preparation.

Feeling reluctant for months, I think it may be time to take that step. Full-force in carefree abandonment ... propelling forward off of the next great precipice always gets my blood pumping.

I think about the people who will join me - individuals I have a love for long before even meeting them face-to-face. Coming together for a common purpose ... my heart leaps with thoughts of what will be accomplished.

For eyes that land here today, I humbly ask for prayer. A step out onto the deep requires a lot of courage on my part. The wind and the waves can be so noisy.

God made us for ministry. What burns in your heart? How have you been gifted? What is it that you can't stand to see go unheeded?

I will pray for you too - that God reveals that special place of purpose for you. We all have work to do.

And Kingdom work requires nothing less than all.

Good Reception

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6

I received a phone call late into the night. The ring broke silence and tore through my dreams ... it was my son.

"Mom, I'm scared."

A trip to Grandpa's with plans to hit McDonald's for breakfast and then the lake for fishing had Michael jumping into my Dad's truck with no hesitation yesterday. Visions of lakeside entertainment danced in his head.

But as night fell, and after everyone else was asleep, fear crept in. I spend a long time coaching Mikey through, giving him tips on how to fall asleep. "Did you pray? Pretend you are home, that Ginger is sitting at your feet and that I am right down the hall."

"I already tried all of that -- I just wish I were home."

Resting the phone next to my ear, and encouraging Michael to do the same, I told him to go ahead and drift off to sleep ... that I would be drifting off right next to him. We both surrendered to heavy lids. Hearing my little guy breathing through the phone brought me great comfort. Micheal's assurance that I was there when he called out made it safe enough to finally fall asleep.

"Mom, are you still there?"

"Yes Buddy, I'm here. Try and get some sleep, okay?"

I could really relate to my trembling little boy last night. In times of fear I find myself crying out to God saying, "I just wish I were home." And every so tenderly, our connection is secured through the comfort and familiarity of prayer. I kneel, and He nestles in close to my heart and promises to be there when I call.

The safety of faith is unmatchable, sending the boogie-men of this world running. God can be trusted to carry you through any uncertainty, every disappointment and pain. How is your connection with the Lord today?

Call out to Him -- He really can hear you! Take courage and know ... God's love is closer than a whisper in the darkest night.

Crossroads

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

Mark and I have an enormous decision to make.

I was walking along the path minding my own business, trying to step in places that would please the Lord - when all of the sudden I was faced with an immediate decision.

It is something I have been grappling with for months - something that the Lord has been preparing me for. I just didn't expect to have to make the decision NOW.

Either path I take will not be easy. There are bumps and bruises to acquire, a strengthening of heart, which always includes a test or two. But as I contemplate which road to take, both seem logical. Both (with God's divine intervention) can be tolerated. But only one requires the surrender of everything I hold most dear.

The thought of taking this way breaks my heart - but taking steps in the other direction has proven to kill it.

If your eyes land here today, please pray for me. I need God's wisdom and a boatload of strength.

Sometimes God carries us to places to prove that Jesus is all we will ever need.

His love is more than enough.

Storytime

He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. - Mark 16:15

I think I am ready to begin writing my first book. While I was planning on waiting at least five years ... the enormity of the project has me wondering if starting today might not be a bad idea.

I start this day, by simply making the decision, "I am going to start on my first novel."

Very little training in the craft of writing fiction does have me hesitate a bit. Characterization, plot, structure, deep POV - all of this sends my mind spinning. But there is a protagonist hidden in my heart, waiting to tell her story. Hiding in quiet moments, following me around every hill and turn. I've been chosen for this task and I believe with all my heart that the story is going to tell itself.

I have thoroughly enjoyed the training I've received thus far, and there are endless opportunities to grow in this specialized craft. Like a sponge, I hope to soak every lesson in, letting it drip onto the pages of my masterpiece.

As a result of this new adventure, there may be a slight change in my daily blog posts. Pouring my devotional energies into marketable pieces seems like the next right step. Getting as many eyes as possible to land on the lessons that have been so dear to my heart. I have been commissioned, not to stay in a comfortable box of text - but to go.

I want to invite you along this new journey, one that has me shaking in my shoes. Writing a book means putting yourself out there - many first time writers attribute it to having a new baby. As the wave of morning sickness begin, a twinkle hits my eye with thoughts of seeing God's finished product. One, ten, twenty years ... however long it takes, I am committed to the process.

May God bless you in your own storytelling adventure. As Christians we all have something amazing to share about what God has done.

How will you get your story out?

Meltdown

Woe to you, O Jerusalem! How long will you be unclean?" - Jeremiah 13:27

The Stanislaus County Fair provided me with the wonders and excitement of so many things yesterday ... farm life, blinking lights, people watching opportunities, the glory of a Newsboys concert and one unforgettable hot fudge sundae.

It was about fifteen minutes before the concert was going to start. So, with my money burning a hole in my pocket, I headed for the ice cream stand. It was easy to find even through swarms of people, for I had marked it in my mind hours earlier.

As I stood in line, the choices before me were baffling. A frozen banana, a cheesecake dipped in chocolate sprinkled with nuts, a plain vanilla cone ... or a hot fudge sundae. What to do?

Like a little girl in a candy store (or a big girl at an ice cream stand), I placed my order and stepped to the side while it was being processed.

What happened next, sent me on a ride I will not soon forget. Even before the lady handed me the masterpiece, my glorious hot fudge sundae had started to melt. But with eyes as big as saucers, I was not about to give up on my new cherry-topped friend.

A couple of steps through the crowd, and I knew I was in a world of trouble. The three napkins given couldn't even keep the sticky mess from running down my hand. Too much ice cream, fudge, whipped cream and nuts were crammed into a small Styrofoam cup. Long and careful strides back to my seat would not reverse this madness.

By the time I arrived, my entire hand was covered in glop. Streams of mess ran continuously down my arm, catching the attention of everybody around me. I was stunned - I did not know what to do. So, after a feeble attempt at tidying things up, I did what anybody else would have done ... I dug in.

There are so many times in my life when I think I am making a good choice about something. All of the warning signs are there and my conscience begins melting, leaving an undeniable mess. But do I throw the idea out? Not always. Sometimes, I am bent and determined on making it work - even after God has encouraged me to start cleaning up the mess.

Is there something specific God is asking you to discard my friend? It could be an old pattern of thinking, maybe a hard habit or a dangerous relationship. You can trust God to make things right again - but you've got to let got of what the gloppy mess promised in the first place.

It was a lie.

God is in the business of making all things clean and new. Toss that sticky mirage ... and never settle for less than God's best.

Penny Pinch

I have listened attentively, but they do not say what is right. No one repents of his wickedness, saying, "What have I done?" Each pursues his own course like a horse charging into battle. - Jeremiah 8:6

At ten minutes till noon, I grabbed my items and headed toward the check-out counter. I would be meeting Mark for lunch in ten minutes. So, using my time wisely, I decided to pick up a birthday present in 9.4 minutes.

Gift found ... check. 99 cent birthday card chosen ... check. Large bow to rest on top of the package ... check. Being sensitive to the other people around me ... nowhere to be found.

I remember seeing that there was only one person in line, giving me the extra push I needed to accelerate. Dodging the end display of cosmetics, racing past the magazine aisle, pushing forward toward the conveyor belt, I ignored the blur of folks heading in the same direction.

I cut them off at the pass.

Placing my items down, and positioning the long plastic separator, I felt a sense of I accomplishment, like I had won or something. But overshadowing the imaginary trophy, I felt a pinch of shame. Was getting in line first really worth looking like an insensitive fool? I guess in the moment, I had not given that any consideration. But now, I felt ashamed to be standing with myself.

The couple that I practically ran over, proceeded to move around me, and headed out the front door. Wow, they were not looking to pay for anything - they just probably wanted to avoid the maniac with the birthday gift!

Then the real pain struck. As my eyes followed my two victims, I saw not strangers, but people I know - from church. Ugh!

There are times when our sin reveals itself in the most unsuspecting places. There I was, minding my own business ... looking to bless both the recipient of the gift and my husband for not being late - and bam! I was hit with realization of my hidden selfishness.

The next day, I ran into the person and her son (not literally this time), and apologized for my actions. She gave me a puzzled look - she didn't even know what I was talking about. I had to chuckle. Maybe God's lesson was for my correction, not to feed my shame. Hmmm ...

I choose to share this tidbit with you today, because it was a memorable snapshot in my walk with the Lord. Dear friend, when your sin hits you upside the head (and if it hasn't yet, don't worry - it will), know that God is close by, ready to tidy up the mess you've made, to receive your apology and to make things right again.

The key? Repent and ask Him to ... He is more than willing.

Painful Tug

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot. - Ecclesiastes 3:1,2

She stands tall, she stands proud. A striking Queen Palm, positioned a little bit too close to our swimming pool (the hot-tub to be exact). Pieces of concrete patio are starting to lift, one sprinkler pipe broken. As much as I cringe with the thought, we simply have to let her go.

My husband and I wrestled with whether or not to save her. But $250 pretty much made the decision for us. Time to get the chainsaw ...

I thought about how God will sometimes have us pull a beautifully planted tree along our spiritual journey, and we find it hard to make any sense out of it. It looks great on the outside, moving gracefully as the wind catches its leaves. Providing shade from the sun and offering a perch for feathered friends. What could be so bad about that?

But oftentimes there are things below the surface, that have potential to cause harm. A tree that provided years of protection will suddenly become dangerous and a detriment to God's pool of Living Water. Is that because the tree has somehow become rotten? No. The tree is still the tree ... but over time it has simply grown too big for the spot in your heart.

What has God asked you to uproot lately? Do you harbor a secret sin? Maybe you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship, and you are starting to see the affects of broken communication. The Lord may be asking you to make a career change - your whole life purpose has taken on a new meaning.

Wherever you are, take heart my friend. If it is time to pull a giant weed in your life, take comfort in knowing that you won't have to pull it alone.

God's Word is full of powerful promises. Take hold of one - and tug.

Watchful

Today's devotion can be found at: http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/devotions/reese_watchful.aspx .

CBN.com published another one for me! Take a peek.

I appreciate everyone who visits this blog, you are a special part of my journey. I write every day, with you in mind.

Thanks for stopping by ...

Straight Path

Mark out a straight path for your feet; then stick to the path and stay safe. Don't get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil. - Proverbs 4:26,27

To walk in integrity bears a great price. Choosing no to, costs us so much more.

I listened to an amazing sermon yesterday. Halfway across the country, Pastor Doug's voice landed on my heart through my iPod ear buds. It was the final part of a three-part series ... one that will alter my path forever.

The center of his message had to do with following the commands of God's Word -- "to a tee." He illustrated his point through the story of Adam and Eve in the garden. God's command not to eat of the tree got all twisted up through the interjection of the enemy. How often times that happens to me.

Some of the verses he touched on talked about how no unwholesome talk is to come out of your mouth ... if we ask anything in God's name it will be given to us ... God is able to make all grace about to you ... devote yourselves to prayer ...

I felt the Holy Spirit's conviction as I realized how loosely I hold these commands. No unwholesome talk? Did God really say that? Am I really to devote myself to prayer? Did God really say not to eat that piece of fruit?

The enemy is pretty sneaky.

I come to a place in my walk where I am called to rise up and take a stand. The mistakes of others, promises broken and unforgiveness has threatened to poison the one thing that matters most.

My relationship with God.

God's Word is the only solid step we have along this broken path called life. While many opportunities clamour for our attention, the narrow one is our only promise for peace.

Yes, God really did say that He loves you. Open the Bible - it is written and illustrated through Jesus, His Son.

You can bet your life on it.

Walk Free

Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. - Isaiah 50:10b

I was blessed to be able to attend two amazing services yesterday. I witnessed a funeral service for a dear woman who will be terribly missed by her family. And shortly after, I visited a going away service for a man entering the army.

One was a celebration of the end of a person's life, while the other was a celebration of the beginning of great things - yet both held striking similarities.

Tributes were given for both. Family and friends got up and shared stories and expressed deep emotion. Both ceremonies generated a lot of tears. There was something so sacred about being there, sharing the love, sorrow, joy and pain of two families who would be forever changed. My heart ached remembering some of my own pain.

Food and fellowship followed, and I thought about how dark the unknown can appear. Death leaves a lot of unanswered questions. Being commissioned out onto the battlefield does too. Darkness can threaten to strangle even the strongest of hearts.

But where our understanding ends, God's begins. The name of Jesus Christ was proclaimed twice yesterday, bringing hope to hearts that were broken into a million pieces.

He really can be trusted, even in our darkest hour.

Whatever that next step might be for you today ... I charge you with this thought. Walk free. Taking that next step might be difficult, but you can rest knowing that you will never tread alone.

Jesus lives.

Get Back Up

Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me. - Psalm 119:133

I fell down yesterday - hard. Something I thought was healed years ago snuck up on me. And like a kid riding a skateboard for the first time, I went from trying a really neat trick to landing flat on my back.

The bumps and bruises of sin covered me, and it seemed like the harder I tried to get up, the harder I fell. Again, and again.

Guilt piled itself on like a bucket of tar. "I know better, why am I here - AGAIN?"

As I kneeled before the Father today, afraid to show my face, unable to lift my eyes, I confessed the mess I found myself in. He agreed with each one of my offenses.

Then I heard something amazing in my spirit, breaking the chains of condemnation ... Your sin could never be greater than my forgiveness and love. Believe in what was accomplished on that cross. Live it, receive it, breathe it, proclaim it.

Sin no longer reigns in my life, Jesus does. It's power was broken the moment Jesus submitted to brokenness.

He saved my life.

True Ministry

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. - 1 Corinthians 1:3-5

I've got a chicken pox scar on my right forearm, just below my elbow. I was about six when the ailment visited our neighborhood on Third Street. All of the kids in the neighborhood ended up getting them. Better early than late, I guess.

I have other scars too. Right next to my right knuckle sits a scar I got while riding my new ten speed bike. I never drove over a garden hose again. Then there is the scar on my right shin, making it's appearance when I accidentally stepped into a hole that held a sprinkler head. Ouch.

These injuries are vivid, memorable - not something I would choose to revisit - but definitely a part of my story. I think about the scars I incurred later in life, such as surgical scars ... and let's not forget the team of emotional scars I've picked up along the way.

I once read that if a wound does not properly heal, that it will never turn into a scar. Staying open, bloody, painful and sore. When it comes to our emotional wounds, they can stick around for decades if they haven't been properly cared for.

It is not easy dressing some of those wounds. Nobody likes pain, but pain is a part of the healing process. In order to get past some of the garbage, we often times have to wade knee deep through it.

While some of the emotional wounds of my past make their way to the surface every now and then (carrying what feels like an incurable ache) if I take those hurts to God He promises to have a remedy.

As painful as each of those circumstances were, I would not change them for the world. The are a part of who I am, a part of my story. And by God's grace, I can use my scars to help somebody else who is suffering the same kind of injury - ministry at its purest.

What kind of scars do you hold? Do you loath them, or have you learned to embrace the ugly things?

God's work in the world is so much higher than anything we can wrap our minds around. The scars on Jesus' hands and feet tell me a lot about our pain.

It brings Him glory.

Stuff

If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! - Ecclesiastes 4:10

Stuff. We've all got it. Trickling down the stairs, clogging up the lint screen of our dryers. Dust bunnys challenge the feather-duster, threatening to take over. The ring around the bathtub fights back with determination. Piles of unwanted items stack themselves into the garage, awaiting that spring garage sale. Keeping a home tidy requires our daily attention.

It is the same with our heart.

I sat with a friend last night, discussing the ins and outs of some of my "stuff." Negative tapes that have played for years, insecurities about my outward appearance that reflect depravity within. The expectations I put on others, hoping they will fill a void that only God can fill. It was a pretty long laundry list.

Twenty-three years into recovery, my dear friend was willing to extend a hand to help this tender soul who was just beginning. As we chatted over apple turnover, I realized something. I had a choice. I could continue to be overwhelmed by the mess on the stairs of my heart, or I could ask God to help me begin tidying things up.

I'm tired of trying to clean this mess up all by myself. I've reached a point in my life where my face has found the carpet. I need God's help.

Later, as I drove back to home, buildings and trees stood against golden light created the most amazing silhouette. The view was breathtaking. My heart was captured even more by the view inside of my soul. A new lie had been exposed during this conversation with my friend - one I have held onto for years.

But the ugly old thing, the lie that has caused me terrible turmoil for months, even years, suddenly looked amazing against the backdrop of God's light. New hope surfaced, giving this weary traveler just enough fuel to keep trecking.

We need each other. Who can you reach out to today? Who can you ask for help from? Don't try to clean up the mess all by yourself. It can be terribly overwhelming, and it's not much fun.

One of the greatest gifts God gives us is friendship.

Find one. Be one.

Sandcastles

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. - Hebrews 13:8

During my time away, we went to one of my favorite places - the beach. Constant, stable, tried and true. God's blue bathtub can always be trusted to stay the same. Blue horizon, rolling tides, carrying pieces of seaweed and shells. I dipped my toes in water that felt nothing like a bathtub, and found joy as polished toes found warm sand.

I find comfort in things that stay the same. Especially through seasons of change.

I don't know why change can be so uncomfortable. Is it for the sake of wanting to stay safe? Is predictability what I long to hold? Having a sense of being in control is surely the underlying factor. But change is inevitable. Change means growth, health, promise, and hope.

Change allows the most important things to stay the same.

As I stood on that shoreline the other day, the obvious splashed my ankles, and I realized - the ocean is in a constant state of change. Waves roll in, one after the other, creating a different line in the sand with each trip. Bare feet create a different set of tracks through mounds of sand. Birds fly in, then out. Crabs burrow into new and different holes, seaweed displays a unique collage with every ebb and flow.

Letting go of the sandcastles in my life is a good thing.

As God brings us through the unpredictability of change, there is one constant we can sink our toes into. He never changes. Like the afternoon light that dances on sprays of salty water, God the Father - His character - can always be trusted to stay the same.

Who has God proven to be in your life? Think today, on an attribute of God.

The view is breathtaking.

CBN.com Daily Devotion

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. ~ Isaiah 26:3

I stumbled upon one of my favorite verses of all times this morning. I've referred to this passage of Scripture countless times through the years. Keeping my heart and mind on Christ can be a challenge when I am facing a storm.

As I return from vacation, I am thrilled to announce my latest publication! A devotion I wrote has been published on CBN.com's website. I was overjoyed when I received an email from their Internet Producer.

The situation I wrote about was a lesson I would not soon forget. It was a terribly painful moment, carrying a deep and meaningful lesson about prayer.

I am always amazed at how God will sometimes take our pain and turn it into ministry. Nothing brings me greater joy than to know that my own experience with God has potential to heighten the awareness of somebody else's.

I invite you to visit http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/devotions/reese_lunch.aspx, and please post a comment if you get the chance.

Let's keep our eyes fixed on Him.

Less Mess

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. - 2 Corinthians 10:5

You may have heard the saying, "Oil and water don't mix."

I was talking with a friend the other day, about how the same principle applies to fear and faith. As we circled her block for the fifth time, I was reminded of something that God taught me over a decade ago. We cannot operate in fear and in faith at the same time. They simply cannot share the same space.

As I've journeyed through this thing called faith, the Lord has given me hundreds of opportunities to choose. Whether it has been a relationship decision, an issue of attitude or the belief in a hopeful future -- I've noticed something about some of the ways I have handled this issue.

I've gotta come clean this morning, and confess that my auto pilot (when I am not purposefully taking those thoughts captive) will steer me in the direction of fear. Feeling the need to somehow keep myself guarded (as if God needs my help) I have been closing myself and my heart to dozens of possibilities that embrace change. Because change has no guarantees, I've been reluctant. My autopilot takes me right down to the bottom of a slimy and unbecoming pit, telling me that faith is too costly. But is is really?

When I hold fear and faith up to the light, I notice something today. The only one that offers a guarantee is fear -- fear guarantees defeat. Faith, on the other hand, while holding an element of the unknown (which can be scary in itself) holds the possibility of something better and new.

God is calling me to step away from fear, and to embrace the possibilities of a new beginning. Am I nervous about it? Yes, I am shaking in my shoes! But standing in this puddle of fear leaves me feeling all washed up.

Take hold of faith my friend. God's promises are worth the fight. I hope you will join me in reaching this broken world . . . faith is the only chance we've got.

Choose the side with less mess.

(I will be taking a week away from blogging, for some fun family time. Join me next week . . . I will be posting all of the lessons I've learned from my down-time.)

Finger Wound

God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek. - Hebrews 6:18-20

The injury was more than I could bear. While it did not hurt physically, the pain delved deep inside, slicing open all the dreams I held dear.

Strange, but familiar, the wound in my index finger created a gap large enough to see bone. As the day wore on, the injury grew larger. I felt terrified.

"I had that happen to me before," my friend said. "You will not be able to use that finger for anything -- cooking, cleaning, writing, typing -- for nine months!"

Nine months? I looked at the wound, and thought about my writing goals in the coming weeks and months. Deadlines to keep, curriculum to study, queries to submit -- all cut short by an exaggerated finger scrape.

As I woke up from the warped and disturbing dream this morning, I checked my finger carefully. There was no wound.

There are circumstances in our lives that instigate fear, even imagined ones. The dreams that carry us over and above clouds as we sleep, harbor our greatest desires and our deepest fears. While I haven't done a lot of studying up on dreams and their meaning, I do believe that the things we dream can reflect our biggest aspirations as well as unresolved hurts and hang-ups.

It is funny (or maybe not so funny) how the emotions of a dream can be carried into reality, even though we know that is not logical. But then again, when are emotions ever logical?

I find rest today, knowing that there lives an unchanging and recognizable anchor for this soul. Jesus. My healer of little scrapes and gaping emotional wounds. Whether my dreams hold hopes of publication or fears of the boogie-man, I can be certain I will always be rescued.

God's Word is my life. His purposes will prevail.

Cracker Load

For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good--not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne. - Matthew 11:30

I've been carrying a load I was never meant to carry - for far too long. Sitting with my husband last night, discussing the issues of my day, I was washed with a delightfully refreshing truth. I love the differences God created in Mark and I. While I see things on a gray scale most of the time, he is very black and white. We are different in a lot of ways, helping us become better wholes.

Normal, everyday stuff has been an enormous burden on me for months. And for the life of me, I have not been able to figure out why. "Am I in the wrong place? Do I need to change my attitude about things? Am I to carry this load? If so, why? And for how long?"

These questions have run through my mind like a broken record. I've cried out to God for relief, eager to jump off the mountain if it be His will. But while I have worked to try and control and change everything around me, instead, God has been looking to change my heart.

What will a change like this require? Well, as I look at this eager little ant carrying the crackers away, I see that in order to put something that heavy down, I am going to have to let go of my sinful appetite. It is time to surrender "what I want."

While I have carried a load far too heavy, for far too long, I am going to take the advice of my beloved husband and put it down. It sounds so simple, doesn't it?

It sounds simple, because it is simple.

Do you ever find yourself all caught up in a string of messes that are really not yours to untangle? Have you felt strangled by the decisions of other people and powerless to help? My dear friend, you are not responsible for anybody else but yourself. Keeping your own heart right with God is your only responsibility.

I publicly declare today, that I am tired of trying to control the things that are outside of my control. I recognize the hurts I have carried for years, and how they have poorly affected my view of the everyday world around me. I step down from the judgement seat, and give people permission to be who God made them to be. I forgive myself, and others for being less than perfect.

And above all, I embrace the freedom of walking with Jesus affords. Being close to God's heart is all this girl really wants. He came to rescue and to heal. He is more than able.

And because of His love, I am made whole.

Facedown

The Lord is near to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. - Psalm 145:19

I woke up this morning feeling more tired than when I went to bed. This is not good. Tossing and turning through most of the night. The concerns of the day invaded my nighttime sanctuary. Wanting so much to escape into a world of make-believe and dreams, my pillow simply refused to turn into a cloud.

There is something so tormenting about unrest. I find myself moving through a very painful transition in my life, and as hard as I try, I cannot seem to get comfortable. Faced with the reality of changes in my own heart, and the sameness of everything that surrounds me, causes a whirlwind of confusion and pain. Feeling like I am on a roller-coaster, queasy and dizzy, I ask the Lord, "Please let me get off."

But His answer has been, "Be still."

Do you ever feel tired my friend? Tired of circumstances you can't change? Tired of the pain?

I chose this picture today, because it made me chuckle. This little kitty paints a lovely picture for those of us who depend on the Lord for our next breath. Go ahead, it's okay to rest. Plant your self face-down into God's food bowl--His Word.

You can believe it with all your heart . . . the rescue is coming.

There is no greater sanctuary.

Old Letter

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. - 1 Peter 1:3-5

As I thumbed through the old cookbook for a new recipe or two, the letter appeared nestled between the pages. Going to yard sales always promises a treasure or two, but touching a piece of history was not what I bargained for.

My friend Debbie proceeded to open the worn out piece of paper so that she could read aloud while I drove. Dark black print stamped the words of a women who sat at her typewriter over thirty-five years ago. The watermarked paper talked about the normal routine of her day. She was going to be mailing some pillows and mason jars. She talked about the kind of dog she wished she had, garbage collection, and wondered when she would be allowed to vote.

Wow.

I couldn't help but think about how his woman, who composed this message to her girlfriend all those years ago, never could have guessed that it would be picked up at a yard sale years later. While Debbie and I chuckled over the differences the past thirty or so years have made, there was also so much about us and her that were the same. Same kind of weather. Same kind of results when you are planting a tomato. Same kind of love between two friends.

The written word outlasts us all, truly able to make an impact on generation after generation. God wrote a letter too, many years back, to somebody He loves very much.

You.

We have much to learn from the Bible, a book filled with history, drama, suspense, sorrow and joy. But the best part about this letter is that it will never fade. After everything else has passed away, God's Word will remain.

It is a letter worth cherishing. If you haven't picked it up for a while, it is worth dusting off. Take a peek. Black and red letters dance on white pages, with a message of hope and redemption, for all generations to come.

Purple Kiss

He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. - Job 5:9

Some weeks back, my daughter Makayla and I were browsing around OSH. After wandering through the garden section, and passing through a rainbow of different paints, we headed to the checkout counter. To my surprise, there stood a pink plant.

"Oh Mommy, please can I get it? It would match my room perfectly."

Wanting to spruce her room up with a houseplant anyway (not that I was searching for a pink one) we decided to bring the unusual thing home. Resting on top of my old jewelry box, it has been very happy soaking in the sun right next to her window.

Yesterday, on Makayla's seventh birthday, the plant supplied us with an even bigger surprise. It was a kiss from my late Grandma Dottie, who died when Makayla was only a few months old.

"Makayla, come quick!"

Poking out from the leaves of this tiny plant were seven purple blossoms. Checking the plant each night as I closed her blinds, I could not recall seeing them there. They had not been there the day before. For some unexplainable reason, all seven decided to make an appearance on July 5.

Purple was my Grandma Dottie's favorite color.

I went on to explain to Makayla, how happy Grandma Dottie was when she was born - how she loved visiting with her and wished so much that she could have stayed longer.

"I think God sent those today Makayla, to say 'Happy Birthday' from Grandma Dottie."

Makayla's eyes grew wide, and a deep grin filled her face.

Joy rose within my heart too, as I felt a sweet connection of generations, supplied by the blossom of a simple houseplant.

Freedom's Song

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD. - Psalm 40:3

A very special song, one that I thought was saved for the morning, is carried in at evenings around my neighborhood. One lonely little mockingbird begins his melody just as the sun starts to set. Belting out a tune from the deep parts of his little heart - the noise fills the empty space of our cul-de-sac.

It is my understanding that mocking birds can be quite a nuisance, especially for folks who are trying to get some sleep. Our little neighborhood entertainer does not carry on all night, he just seems to pay his respects to the sun, as it slips down behind houses and trees. Then he flies off, to I don't know where, to nestle in for the night. (Or maybe he carries on all night in somebody else's neighborhood.)

Today is the 4th of July. And as we prepare for some good eating and the fireworks show, thoughts of what it really means to be free bounces around in my brain. The song of this feathery friend really paints a picture of liberty for me.

Mockingbirds caught singing at night (or when the sun begins to set) are generally males who have not yet found a mate. This song, so lovely, calls out into the night, with hopes of finding the one to share life with -one that will make this little bird's heart complete.

My freedom song sounds similar. The melody belts out loudest when it starts to get dark - even if I don't feel like singing. Uncertainty surrounds me through a slew of circumstances, and I long once again to feel the companionship of my Savior, to feel complete.

"A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song." - Maya Angelou

Worship is what you and I were made to do. Love awaits us, in the shadows and breezes of life. And nothing is sweeter to the Father, than when our song is discovered in the dark.

Scum

I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. - Isaiah 61:10

I married into a family that loves to play games. Board games, card games - you name it. It is how we spend our holidays, lazy summer afternoons, and pauses during a traffic stop. Munching on goodies and shooting the breeze - ah yes, this is family.

We were gathered around the table last night tackling a new card game called, "Scum." While it carries some characteristics of Rook, and mirrors that of War, this particular card game adds the element of rank to make things more interesting.

After the initial hand, each player is given a rank that represents how well they played. It goes from King, to Queen, to Prince . . . all the way down to Peasant, and lastly Scum.

For whatever reason, I could not get a good hand to save my life last night. Sitting in a pile of slop, I slumped in the scum position, feeling powerless to pull myself up. My hands did not sport anything higher than a nine (all night), and after a while, I didn't really feel the need to participate. After all, I was an outsider. I was scum.

But for the sake of being a good sport, I stuck it in. Counting the minutes until bedtime, I let my daughter sit on my lap and help me play my hands. She wanted so much to help me out of my pit. But it was no use.

Then it happened. Out of nowhere, my nephew, who sat in the position of Queen offered to switch spots with me. "No, that is okay. Thanks anyway," I said. But kindness and compassion continued. He insisted. He wanted to relieve me of this burden. He wanted me to re-enter the game. He was willing to sacrifice his right standing so that I could be lifted up.

Later on, I couldn't help but think about how Jesus did the same for me. There was a season in my life, when life was dealing me some pretty gruesome hands. I was powerless to break the cycle of pain. Every attempt I made at crawling out of this unending pit, only solidified my depravity.

But then, out of nowhere, Jesus stepped into the picture. Without hesitation, and with absolute insistence, He stepped in and took my place in the dirt. All of my sin and stain was placed on the King of Kings, and I, a lowly peasant girl was given a robe of righteousness.

I felt moved by my nephew's compassion yesterday . . . Christ's reflection through an ordinary game of cards.

Clamor

There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience. - Hebrews 4:9-11

The ringing doorbell sent a parade of barks down the hallway toward the front door. Our family stayed silent and still. Being up late the night before, made for a good sleeping-in morning.

It rang again. I felt no need to jump out of bed, sporting my polished morning look, as I knew who leaned on our doorbell. It was a neighbor kid, one lonely little boy, up early to tackle the day's adventures.

"Ahhh . . . silence once again." Our dog Ginger had decided she was done protecting the house, and the sound of chirping birds filled the room through an open window. I turned over, feeling so warm and cozy - so safe.

Then another sound jarred me. The telephone began a morning song of it's own. Blaring through the house, I was sure this one would wake my little ones up. But after a series of two separate rings, and a pretty full bladder, I decided it was time to get up.

Let's face it, life is noisy. There are constant demands on each of us for our time, energy and resources. And if we are not careful, we can burn out. Taking time for yourself for the sake of refueling is God's idea. We are encouraged to set one day a week aside, in honor of a Sabbath-rest. Have you given it an honest try?

Through a really difficult season in my life, God has been teaching me a lot about the importance of taking care of myself. I am human, and so are you. Therefore, our time, energy and resources are limited. Getting an ample amount of rest is vital if we are going to be any good to anybody else.

Are you feeling weary today? Tired of all the noise? Does sitting in bed with a good book sound like a good idea? A trip to the beach? A park in front of the TV? It's okay to give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to simply "be."

Jesus set a perfect example of rest, as He would move away from the crowds (from the noise) to spend time alone with His Heavenly Father. If Jesus needed it, how much more do we?

That phone call can wait, your email, and the knock at the door does not need your immediate attention. But your relationship with God does.

Be good to yourself today, and invite God's non-intrusive presence into your silence.

Alarm Clock

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
- Matthew 18:21, 22

I woke up this morning, feeling angry about something that didn't even happen. Dreams can be like that. The scenario was so real, I was clearly being taken advantage of. I fought to get my point of view heard - surely justice would prevail. But the more I spoke, the more my feelings were ignored, my own needs pushed aside.

As I stumbled out of bed (late because I forgot to set my alarm), I realized something. The dream, while it was not real, was linked to some very real hurts in my life. The characters of each role in this tormenting dream, were people who have hurt me in a similar way, while I have been awake.

There are hurts from our childhood that can run pretty deep. But nothing is too wounded for God. I can continue to huff and puff around today, letting unresolved hurt poison my attitude and sour my love for others. Or, I can talk to God about it, being honest about the repeated offense. And then I can choose to forgive - again.

The real alarm did go off this morning.

Dear friend, hanging on to hurts only hurts yourself. Is there somebody your heart needs to forgive today? I know, it isn't easy. But God can, and wants to help.

After all, He has forgiven you. The pain our sin caused is immeasurable . . . and God chose to love anyway.

Amazing.

Milk Cap

O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. - Psalm 63:1

The cereal had just been poured when an unusual request filled the kitchen. "Mom, could you not buy the milk with the red cap anymore? It doesn't taste good. I like the one with the orange cap better."

I stood perplexed. How my son could tell the difference was a mystery to me. Both milks were whole, both homogenized with Vitamin D. After all, milk is milk, right? But not to Mikey. He has always been my little milk connoisseur.

I am the same way with bottled water. I drink water with my meals, and have been off soda for years. As a result, I can really tell the difference between various brands of water. A few weeks back, I was given a bottle of water made in Fiji. The decorated bottle was enough to sell me, but after sipping on that all afternoon, my Crystal Geyser has been a disappointment ever since.

Just as we can consume drink with our bodies, ideas and concepts get poured into our minds the same way. When we saturate ourselves with God's Word, our sensitivity to the poor quality around us goes up. Only His Living Water can hydrate us with the promise of hope, love and light. Too often, we settle for a "good book" or whatever is on TV - even a good conversation with a friend, instead of getting the cool clear nourishment that can only come from Him.

So what will it be for you today? Red, orange, green or blue? Spend some time in God's Word. Ask Him to create an unquenchable thirst for it.

You will never be disappointed.

Heart Patch

I will be a shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain. - Isaiah 4:6

Patches of sunlight dance across the grass as we try to avoid the heat. The baseball game begins. We search for a spot in the shade. An ice chest filled with water for hydration, and a squirt bottle filled with water for misting, keep the one hundred plus heat bearable.

But more than trickles of water, are the large and lazy trees shading the sun. These delicate giants offer relief for onlookers. A mild breeze blows in, creating a haven. My daughter pulls out a library book, and begins to read. The book is about hugs. A smile rises from deep within as I rest underneath God's protection.

There are seasons of life that sometimes bring blistering heat. Our hearts seem to sweat blood underneath the scrutiny of unbearable conditions. A job is lost, a loved one dies, a ministry falls flat, a relationship ends. As I sat there yesterday enjoying sunflower seeds and cheering my son on, I realized something.

God's embrace through the difficult times feels very much like that spot in the shade. The temperatures may continue to rise, but if I will let Him, God will bring the shade to rest my weary soul.

The gentle breeze of the Holy Spirit carries a true sense of peace and comfort. And light that once burned, miraculously begins to dance.

Time for Feeds

Something amazing about the Christian writing industry, is the help writers are willing to give one another in the face of competition. Since the moment I decided to join my first critique group, I've had new friends go out of their way to show me the ropes. Hours have been volunteered in order to help me get on my feet.

Recently, I subscribed to a blog that has proved to be wonderfully refreshing with every post. The author shares details about her day, lessons she picks up, with a willingness to look at the difficult parts about life - all with a dynamic message of God's grace! I am truly changed by her prose.

This friend (without even knowing it) has inspired me to set up an RSS feed and to work toward posting daily again. A year or so ago, I had disciplined myself to post to my blog every day. I was amazed at the material God was giving me, not to mention the great practice I was getting at writing.

(Now I cannot make a commitment like that without having some kind of a plan in place. So . . . I will discipline myself NOT TO CHECK MY EMAIL until I have posted for the day. Gulp.)

I send a shout out Holley - your ministry is an inspiration! I hope to follow in your footsteps by discovering the girl inside, and having the courage to give her a voice.

To view Holley's posts, visit http://holley.dayspring.com/

Broken Glass

Shards of broken glass pepper the floor. And for the life of me, I cannot remember the impact. As my eyes try to focus again, the fuzzy pieces - some big, some small, remind me of what used to be a part of a bigger picture. I thought for sure I knew where we were going . . .

Long, slow strides toward a "pie-in-the-sky" dream. But somehow, the dream drifted into my day to day reality. Like a New Year's blimp, it has smashed into the building of mediocrity I've created - brick by brick.

As I shake off the dust collected from the commotion, I carefully begin to turn each piece in my hand as it comes into view. Colors I've never seen before start to form, leaving the places I've already visited tasting bland. But I've gotten comfortable here, dining on crumbs, ignoring each call into the banquet hall.

For a seat next to the King of Kings is costly. Every thought, idea and concept - every idol, must be destroyed, bringing me here to the heap in front of me. Something has shifted, something at my core. And as hard as I try, I cannot fit the pieces back together again. Any attempt leaves my hands bloodied and my heart torn to shreds.

God is calling me to new horizons, ones I never dreamed possible - until now.

I find such comfort in the colorful characters of God's Word. Exodus chapter four illustrates God's dream for Moses. Sometimes when God clarifies His dream for us, we can come up with a boatload of excuses. The mountain seems too high, the army far too strong. With a tongue all tied up in knots how could my message really make any kind of difference?

And like Moses, I hear myself whisper back to God, "Please send somebody else."

But God only made one Moses. He only made one me. He only made one you. All on purpose, for a purpose.

What is He calling you to do?

No need to fear the broken glass my friend. The God who walked on water will certainly carry you over the devastating debris, leaving only the beauty of His glorious presence, dancing in prisms of light.

Sparce Heart

If I didn't know any better, I would say that she was glaring at me. Hearty green leaves peeked at me over the rim of our kitchen garbage can. It was a decision I felt a bit guilty about - but made the choice nonetheless. It was simply time to let her go.

The house plant I speak of has decorated my office for as long as I can remember. The purchase was probably an emotional one all of those years ago. Something to spruce up the decor, no doubt. But through the years, the plant slowly became an eye sore. Disproportionate and gangly. There was really no rhyme or reason. It even pained me to look at her.

Finding a squatty and full replacement this afternoon, I decided this was the day. The ceramic pot that held my trusty companion would soon be home to a new houseplant, while "gangly" hit the garbage. It took everything in me (okay I am being a little bit dramatic) to carry her out to the curb.

Often times, I find myself wanting to do the same with some of the people in my life. Love is hard work. True, sacrificial, agape love demands everything I have to give - and so much more. Somebody I admire suddenly becomes scraggly looking, all full of sin. Instead of bringing joy to my life, the relationship begins to generate deep pain - and the thought of walking away and tossing it all seems like the only answer.

Are you in a difficult relationship, one that you are ready to give up on? At the same time does your heart split in two with the thought of saying good-bye? Sounds to me like you might be dealing with a case of love - the kind of love that only God could plant in your heart.

So you may be wondering, is all of this wrestling even worth it? Think about this: What are your leaves looking like these days? Allow the Holy Spirit to reveal the dead leaves in your own heart, and rest in knowing that no matter how ugly your thoughts toward another person have been, God will always receive your repentance with open arms.

God will never EVER give up on you.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ~ 1 Peter 4:8

Colorful Attitude

Tears fell, leaving streaks of dirt across her face. My words were more than her young heart could bear.

“I hate to say it Kay, but you've grown out of that pink shirt.”

I don’t know what was more overwhelming for her, the pile of clothes and toys surrounding her, or the uncertainty of change. With arms folded and brows furrowed, she stared at me with defiance, as if it was my fault - for feeding her.

Going through closets and drawers, preparing for our spring garage sale, Makayla was hit hard with this new reality. I took into account the fact that it was the end of the day. She was a little tired and probably hungry too. Letting go of that garment sent her over the edge.

A lot of times I find myself in the same place. God tells me it is time to clean out the closet and drawers of my heart. One by one, He will very gently reveal the places I have grown out of. I often times park myself in the middle of the overwhelming mess, and with arms folded, I wrestle with the idea of letting the "good things" go.

Later that evening, Makayla’s daddy surprised her with a new shirt, similar in style and color, but this one was in her size. She bubbled with joy!

Something I am learning in this season of my life, is that any time our Heavenly Father asks us to surrender something, it is always for our good. Anything that becomes more important to us than our relationship with Him simply must be stripped away.

Idols come in many styles, shapes and colors. As an adult, the things I hold on to tend to be more complicated than a pink shirt. Is God asking you to give something comfortable and familiar up my friend? He is a tender Father, and His ways can be always be trusted.

It's okay to pout a little, He know how much it hurts.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. ~ Ezekiel 36:26

Card Box

The worn out box holds hundreds of reminders for me. Early into my Christian walk, I began putting together a card box of Scripture verses. Each alphabetised card held a carefully written passage. With a heading at the top, it was easy for me to match my circumstances with Truth.

All these years later, as light begins breaking through the worn and embittered parts of my heart, I decide to dig this treasure up, wipe the dust off and crack her open. My core is warmed as I am reminded once again that God's Word ALONE will be able to rescue me. He will lift me above every circumstance, giving my feet a firm place to stand, filling my heart with inexpressible joy. I can't wait!

Do you have a card box my friend? A collection of safely kept promises from God to you? Maybe you have written special verses in a journal, or you've marked your Bible with highlighters and pencils. If not, I strongly encourage you wrestle with the ways that God's Word applies to your life, because the greatest news of all - is that it does.

You never know when you may need it later on in life. I had no idea that years later, this tiny little box would become a life preserver for me. Today's card ministers something amazing to my heart. May it shed light on things for you too.

Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. ~ Psalm 119:105

Dainty White

The sweetest aroma filled my senses this afternoon - trailing in on a breeze through my son's bedroom window. For a moment, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. It was the smell of home, the sweet scent of Star Jasmine.

This same breed of white flowers greeted me for years, standing brilliantly on the porch of the house I grew up in. From lazy Saturday afternoons playing with sidewalk chalk (back then it was still skinny and white) to my later years when a kiss good-night would end a date - that Star Jasmine stood tried and true, welcoming me through every stage of my young life.

This afternoon, I found myself on my face before the Lord, utterly emptied. Walking through weeks of darkness and discouragement, I prayed that God would replace my heart of stone with a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). I came to terms with the enormity of my lack, and embraced His gain.

A phone call brought me to my feet. My cousin Jodie, a true lifeline, spent an hour reminding me about all the wonderful things the wilderness has forced me to forget.

As we hung up, I felt my heart fill with a distant but familiar hope. And through the scent of God's dainty white flower, He began to chip away the rough edges, giving Joy the courage to head back home.

Sandpaper Scratches

I have really missed posting - but something about where I find myself leaves little room for blogging these days. Trying to weigh out the most important things in life, piling the big rocks in first - often times leave the floor peppered with pebbles and sand. Posting on my blog has become one of the pebbles not making it into my priority jar.

I choose to embrace the season I am in, no matter how confusing and painful it may be. Sharing with my readers will come later - much later. But for now, I cherish my connection with God and others.

Some day soon, I will be able to pour myself into what I was made to do. But for now, I allow God to sand away the rough edges, polishing rough corners (with much elbow grease) so that my writing will best reflect His face.

Not concerned so much anymore with how people perceive me--just shooting for authenticity, messy as it may be.

Selling out is never worth it . . . big rocks should always come first.

Breaking Into Print

It is difficult for me to wrap my mind around it . . . but I've been published!

God opened the most amazing door through a couple of writer friends. It was an opportunity that only He could have orchestrated.

Adding value to the people and the places I write about . . . this is my vision, this is my prayer.

Come and celebrate with me! Here is the link http://www.myturlock.com/coverstory.html.

My Website is Up

Just a note to let all of my bloggy friends know that my website is up! I will continue to post on my blog with notes about my writing journey, so I hope you will keep visiting.

I will be posting devotions regularly on the website . . . I've got three listed so far. Today's devotion includes a story about my tearful lunch at Panera.

Go to http://www.joannereese.com/ . . . and take a peek!

Just Right

"A little to the left, now the right. No, up . . . then down. Tweak the color a little - now change it back."

This has been my inner dialogue while creating a masterful website. Wanting to get it perfect has me working far too long on a project that really needs to be checked off. Excellence is something wonderful to strive for, when perfection becomes my focus, I find myself tipping the scale of insanity.

My pursuit of perfection can get me so twisted up. I find it in hundreds of places throughout my day, from getting my hair to cooperate to getting my kids to cooperate. Getting the beds made perfectly, working to edit a writing piece to death, to even feeling a failure in my relationships -- the underlying motivation is something I don't like to admit. I strive to keep things looking perfect because it gives me the illusion of being in control.

These perfectionist tendencies will often transfer over to my relationship with God. I strive for the perfect looking "quite time" and feel a failure if it doesn't look just right. Working to keep my heart pure, and my mind full of His precepts magnifies the untidiness of my heart.

As I learn to let go of my need to control through the avenue of perfection, I find that being true to myself is going to be messy. Relationships are rarely tidy and controllable - especially a relationship with the Living God.

A picture perfect snapshot of the beach shows miles of untouched and perfectly smooth sand. Personally, I prefer a photo with swirls of footprints side by side - God's and mine.

"Yes, right down the center . . . good. Now that's just right."

Donut Crumbs

I find no time to write, no time to be alone to connect with YOU. Running on empty, filling myself with the indulgence of donuts and extra sleep.

I take a seat on the floor of my bedroom this afternoon, and find the two doves that so often usher peace into my heart. They are seated on the fence, and look as if they have been waiting for me to slow down and take notice. Companions for life, true to one another through any storm.

Time for my writing finds no home. Time with God finds no chair - only the empty one I pass about a hundred times a day. So patiently YOU wait for me to notice.

So I offer the space and the place that follows me from one chore to the next - my heart. YOU are always with me, but rarely enjoyed. My creative parts always seem to be spinning, searching for the right combination of vowels and verbs as I strive to snap a picture, to paint a portrait of YOU.

The doves are feeding now, as I should be. To open God's Word, to taste and truly see how sweet companionship can be.

Puddles

I always appreciate the closed doors as much as the open ones. So much of my heart has felt unrested with thoughts of cramming a book proposal into a couple of months. It seems logical - I am going to be at Mount Hermon in April, where editors and agents will be waiting to meet with aspiring writers just like myself.

But as logical as it may seem, and as hard as I've tried, I just cannot seem to force this. Unrest has plagued my heart, filling me with anxiety and irritability. This is no way to write - this is no way to live. God has called me to be free.

So as I break away from my self-made shackles, I see that simplicity is key. As I have quieted my heart before the Father, I discern that my expectations and His are quite different. God is not in a hurry. His timing is absolutely perfect, and tending to my husband, my children and my home takes center stage in this season of my life. This is where I find my peace.

Following your dream can be a difficult thing. Watching that door close on your heart squeezes every ounce of selfishness right out. What's left is a surrendered puddle on the floor, one that God can finally take in His hands to mold and shape as He desires.

Well, this soggy little puddle will be preparing three devotionals for April, which means I'd better get my tappin' little fingers warmed up again. Posting to my blog every day did have its advantages. Like stretching exercises or jumping jacks, it got my creative juices flowing - getting me ready for God's next assignment.

Today, I feel pretty out of shape. But with the proper training and the nutrition of God's Word, I'll be back on track in no time.

My dear blogging friend, God's closed doors can be the best manifestations of His love. Never underestimate the value of stillness.

God speaks loudest in the puddles.

Storyteller

A tiny seed slips into the deep recesses of my heart. Filled with promise and hope, it works silently, pushing against the the dirt that surrounds it. Watered one day with vision, hard work and momentum. Stepped on the next, strangled by worry and doubt.

I have been given a dream. A very low level of my consciousness knows it. Day and night it calls to me in whispers. Words I can't quite make out that make more sense than the things I can hear and see. Wanting so much to see the end result, to really know where this journey will lead.

But I am instructed to be still - to wait and simply be.

I return to the world of blogging for many reasons. Documenting my encounters with a God who has captured my heart - this seems like a good use of time. The practice posting affords, keeps ideas fresh and fingers flying. But more than anything I find a need to get what is inside, out. Like a dam about to burst, my heart longs to be seen.

In my last post, I spoke of taking steps toward the writing industry. The last couple of months have proven to be more than getting that next paragraph written. Embracing truth becomes necessary for anybody who aspires to become an artist.

Facing truth ensures death. Death of self.

If you are still with me, I hope you will stick around. I aspire to inspire, much like the griot in Freedom's Pen, by Wendy Lawton. Every gifted storyteller began with one idea - a seed. Every seed must succumb to terrible conditions and surrender to death before the transformation can begin.

What kind of seed has God handed you? This is your ministry to the world! God needs your voice, your ambition, your heart.

I am just finishing up a book that has stirred the dreamer inside. I would recommend it to anybody who loves to get lost in a good story. Sweet Janxa, with incredible talent, would not have been able to blossom without the Wheatley's.

You've heard the old saying, "Timing is everything." I'd like to throw in my two cents this morning. God's timing is everything. It can mean the difference between spinning your wheels and reaching the stars.

My dear readers, I hold a special place in my heart for you. I hope to deliver a story to you, through the posts in this blog that will challenge you to embrace truth.

A mighty oak waits to break past that dirt. Patience dear one . . . God's timing is well worth the wait.