Two or Three

Last night, my Dad accompanied us to the Harvest Crusade. It may sound like a simple statement, but you would appreciate the miracle if you knew our history.

Growing up we never stepped foot into church. The name of Jesus was only uttered in vain, and the idea of "religion" was something that was uncomfortable and avoided. God has really done an amazing work chipping away at my Dad's resistance. Our family has been through a lot the past five years, and I attribute my Dad's openness to the trials.

I was a little bit nervous about how my Dad was going to react to everything. The worship, the raising of hands - the "in your face" message of the gospel. He seemed to be enjoying himself as the evening wore on. He stood when we stood, he clapped when we clapped. I could tell that he was quietly taking it all in.

Then the moment came. Droves of people began walking to the front, and my Dad wasn't one of them. It was an awkward moment. I tried not to look in his direction, giving him a little bit of room to make the choice. He and I exchanged some dialogue during that pocket of time. We were laughing and joking about things - which is the best way that my Dad and I communicate.

Then, he said it. The phrase that just about broke my heart. "There is no way all of those people are making a decision right now . . . I could understand if maybe two or three . . . but not all of those people."

What could I say? My Dad's defenses were up and his cynicism seemed to be winning. My response was to lock eyes with the man who raised me, the man I love like nobody else - and nod. My silent reply was, "yes Dad, it is real."

From that moment on, I felt like I was back in the third grade seeing through eyes of doubt. Negativity was what I was raised in. It was my Dad's way of protecting himself, and those he cared for. We were coached never expect anything really good, because disappointment was inevitable. We were taught that we weren't qualified for the good things in life. A limited, defeating and strangling point of view. Suddenly, I became skeptical of what lie before me. For a moment, I was able to see through my Dad's eyes, and my heart broke.

We all left the amphitheater in a lighthearted and giddy mood - even my Dad. I can't help but to believe that there was something about the evening that my Dad let in. He may not have knocked people down to get to the front, but I trust that in God's perfect timing, he will get there.

Generations of anger, fear and cynicism - broken in this generation. Are you a first generation Christian like I am? I'll tell you, it is really difficult breaking patterns and strongholds that have been placed in your lap. The enemy is extra furious about the turn around of one. The Bible says that it leads to the blessings of thousands.

I stand today, believing that my Dad will be the turn around, not me. When I knelt to pray for him a while back, God's Spirit confirmed that my Dad would be saved. My response was an overwhelming thankfulness - and that hasn't changed. His salvation doesn't hinge on whether or not Greg struck a chord. It doesn't matter if the music was louder than my Dad would have liked, or that he couldn't see past the two or three.

God whispered to my spirit even before the first song began . . . "This is a seed planting night."

The wolves of discouragement knock at the door of this frightened little girl's heart. But she stands immovable, knowing that the Good Shepherd is on His way . . . ready to chase the doubt away for good.

Greg to Greg

Every once in a while, en route to and from school, I will see a friend of mine walking his dog. On occasion, the Holy Spirit will have me stop and say hello. Greg is somebody who encouraged me some years ago as I began to step out into the ministry. These days the roles have reversed and I have become his encourager.

Through the years, Greg has fallen away from a close relationship with God. Our brief conversations here and there have revealed a very angry and cold heart towards God. He is drowning in a pit of sin and despair, but he just hasn't been able to take make it back to church. All I can do is pray and keep encouraging him.

I saw Greg today, and will often times argue with God when He asks me to turn around. With two Greg Laurie brochures left, I knew that Greg was to be my next victim. (God and I made a deal early in the week. I prayed that He would give me the opportunity to give out the three brochures I still had in my car.) So, with reluctance and fear of being a pest, I turned the van around and parked next to where Greg was walking.

I said my usual hello, and handed Greg the brochure, encouraging him to go this weekend. He took the paperwork, but his body language and broken phrases indicated that he probably wouldn't be able to get himself there. I stood my ground, and said that I would be praying for him, and that God was not going to give up.

Like many times, Greg shared with me today some ways that God has been "setting him up" with reminders that He is alive and still very much at work in Greg's life. Greg told me about how some months ago, he yelled at this kid across the street who was dealing drugs. Feeling pretty low himself and really no better than that kid, Greg still reached out and extended a voice of Christ-like concern.

Well just the other day, the kid came up to Greg and shook his hand. "I want to thank you for yelling at me that day. What you did changed my life. I am off drugs, I got a job and I am finally getting my life together."

A set up, by Creator God. Amazing. Now really, how could Greg or anybody else deny that kind of set up? How has God "set you up" lately? Was it through a friend or circumstance? Is there something you have tried to run away from that God keeps bringing to the forefront?

I am not worried about my friend Greg, because where he is (in the dumps) is unfortunately where God needs him right now. Greg's disobedience will not diffuse the work of the Holy Spirit, and even more . . . it is no match for God's love.

Whether Greg makes it to Greg Laurie this weekend or not, I believe with all my heart in the power of prayer. And set up after set up - eventually Greg will crumble underneath the weight of grace.

Marshmallows

I find myself floating freely in a patch of marshmallow-like clouds today. It is difficult for me to write about anything but what is on the forefront of my heart - and this day, my heart is fixed on the magnificence of God.

God is so good at meeting me in those very private places - where unspoken fears reside, and where secret hopes and dreams dwell. How He interacts with those hidden places just floors me. The God Of All Creation, wanting to connect with lil' ol' me.

I hear His call today, gentle but firm, "It's time to take the next step."

Boundary lines have been drawn, there is a vague sketch of how things are supposed to look. But stepping out over this particular edge seems crazy!

"Oh, but Lord, this one is a doozy. I can't see where I'm stepping . . . we are up so high, and not everyone will understand this move. What if I my parachute doesn't open and I wind up smashed to smithereens?"

All I can hear underneath the thumping of my own heart, is a sweet silence . . . indicating the need for faith. The kind of faith that knows God will always put me back together. Will the Lord send an angel to scoop me up and carry me to greater heights? Will He use the scrapes and bruises to grow me in character? And my greatest question . . . WHERE ARE WE GOING?

As I float freely today, those details don't matter so much. There is something so familiar and soothing about the voice telling me to take that step, that "where we are going" becomes secondary. That beckoning voice belongs to someone I can trust . . . and I am captivated by it's call.

His love, so fiercely tender . . . is like nothing else I have ever known. My answer is "Yes Lord, I will go. I will commit myself to Your cause. I will move forward when given the cue."

In the mean time, I sit quietly at His feet - in absolute awe of what my heart has been witness to on this great day.

“But as for me, I would seek God, and to God I would commit my cause." ~ Job 5:8

Humble Yourself

I sat with a good friend this morning, going over some plans for next year. Let's see, we talked about family, our summer adventures, our dreams (sounding familiar to anybody?) . . . then there there were the "to-do's", and the "to-don'ts" (not really, I made that part up). We enjoyed a very casual and delightful conversation.

As we were wrapping things up, my friend shared a little secret with me that has added to a very intimate bond with the Lord. She has landed a gold mine in the area of discipline. This concept applies, whether she is working on spending time in God's Word or being consistent with her exercise program.

It was a phrase that fell off her lips, and I just cannot get it out of my mind. It was so simple, yet has proven, to me, to be one of the hardest things about walking with God. When she spoke the phrase, it was as if the Holy Spirit turned up the volume in my own heart. I felt a nudge from deep within, saying "listen to this . . . this is for you."

"Humble yourself . . . " Clear as crystal, I knew what the Lord was speaking to my heart. I have been trying to figure out how to approach the idea of writing Bible studies . . . of even getting back into a deep style of study . . . and I keep coming up empty handed. Every attempt I make in my own strength eventually vanishes under the pressure of lazy procrastination.

"Humble yourself . . . " this means laying down my own empty attempts, and asking God for His help and direction. Humility is the attitude I should have with any idea of approaching God, whether it is through a fast and a prayer or the study of His Word. He is GOD . . . not some genie in a bottle.

This is such a wonderful nugget. It has spoken to me in a very deep and profound way, which a lot of times means that the Holy Spirit will leave no corner of my heart unturned. I am so grateful that He works carefully to clean up the mess.

Where do you need humbling today? Are you trying to impart discipline in your life? Have you failed miserably time and time again? Oh dear friend in Christ, understand this. God does not expect us to do it perfectly . . . that's why Jesus came. He has already done everything that will ever "earn our way to heaven".

Our part? HUMBLE YOURSELF under God's mighty hand . . . and in due time (not your own), you will be lifted.

Slow Cooker

I am so pleased to announce that the cooking expedition is still coming along great. I've been able to plan my menu's a week in advance. Gathering all of the groceries days before has really taken away my kitchen anxiety. Each day presents me with a new opportunity to create.

Although, I have noticed a little speed bump this week. The cookbook I am working with presently, is full of recipes that call for a slow cooker, or "crock-pot" if you will. Today is only Tuesday, and both yesterday and today I've failed to plan ahead enough so that the food can actually cook "slow". The recipe I tried yesterday was a tasty Italian chicken mix. Luckily I was able to get it going early enough, due to the fact that most of the family wasn't going to be home until after 7:30. Phew, that was a close one.

But today, I cracked open my cookbook to find that the chicken should have been marinating for at least three hours, and then on top of that it needed to cook for an additional two or three. Now I'm not expecting my family to mosey in at around ten or eleven tonight, so I don't think I will be able to pull that one off.

Could this be a blond thing? Just a thought.

So what will be plan B? As I drove Matthew to karate a few minutes ago, I thumbed through another cookbook. (No, I wasn't reading and driving - I thumbed at the stop lights.) I found a delightful recipe that only involves about five minutes of prep and ten or so of cooking. Now this is more like it.

I mention this today, because I want to help any aspiring chefs out there. Recipes require dimension . . . a certain amount of prep time, allotted quantities of ingredients. I sometimes wrestle over this. Why be so picky? But when I try and skim over the details and choose shortcuts, I discover no smiles around the dinner table. The chicken comes out tough, and gravy gets too salty . . . you get the picture.

I think my relationship with God can sometimes operate the same way. I am looking forward to a gourmet meal as I sit to spend time in his Word. But with only ten minutes here, and five there, I find that I am not able to really dig into God's mouthwatering precept. My lazy and inconsistent shortcuts always rob me of a banquet fit for a queen.

Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." ~ John 6:35

Has Bible reading become a fast-food ritual for you? I know I have been guilty of that.

Lord, show us what it means to marinade in Your truth. Simmer us to the perfection of Jesus.

Blank

Okay, I am drawing a blank today. I can't think about what to write. There are hundreds of leads all around me. The tree outside, the fight I had with my hair this morning . . . oodles of lessons tucked into those ordinary moments. I need a spark of inspiration.

Makayla just came in to ask me which picture to color. My Mom bought the kids the neatest toy a couple of Christmases ago. They are called Pixters. A Pixter is a small electronic toy that gives kids a chance to create through different games, drawing and coloring.

The game she is playing right now is called color by numbers. She gets to choose a black and white picture (a lot like a coloring book) with numbers placed inside of each white area. For example, the sky and the water will be one number, while the birds are another. Then she points to a color pallet, where she chooses the colors she wants to paint with.

Whoever came up with this idea is a genius. The fundamentals of creativity all held in an electronic device. It is portable, so she can take it from one room to the other . . . even all the way to grandma's house if she so chooses.

It got me thinking, what colors will I choose to paint my day? Each day I am given a blank screen - God's mercies are new every morning. There are a lot of white spaces waiting to be colored in. I don't always get to choose the picture I want, but I can decide on the color scheme. What kind of attitude will you choose for your sky today?

Greens, blues, red, orange and purples - each color is unique and beautiful. A blank screen indicates the fresh beginning of a brand new day.

Like Makayla, I think I'll ask for some help. "Which landscape have You chosen today Lord? What's on Your to-do list?"

" . . . could somebody please pass me the chartreuse?"

Pedicure

My polished toes are itching for a pedicure. I've been treated with a couple of them this summer, and I have to say, I could get pretty used to that kind of pampering.

But there is a big difference between what I want, and what I need. Mark and I have come across this many times through the years, as we strive to make financial decisions that please Him. More times than not, we stumble around between the need to have something and the idea of doing without. I think the enemy will have us believing that a want is really more of a need. Anybody hearing this?

I was thinking today about some of the ways God has freed me over the past couple of months. It has had nothing to do with fancy toes. Even the things I dream up like writing Bible studies and working in the ministry pale in comparison to the wholeness I've experienced. The funny thing is, the parts of my heart where I feel most fulfilled are places where I am brokenly doing without.

This "great big stupid world" tells me that I need to have this or that before I can be happy. A perfectly clean house, an enormous wardrobe - and yes, perfectly polished toes. Then there are things that don't come across as carnal, but are still not necessities. Like harmony in all relationships, every fiery trial snuffed out and a detailed map of the next five years.

These things though nice, are not what gives me pure and lasting joy. The things that I can see, do have potential to bring a temporary high. But one flick of the switch and those warm and fuzzy feelings disappear.

God is teaching me the importance of simplifying - on so many different levels. Getting back to the basics means letting go of everyone else's idea of what "life should be like". Today's sermon pointed to Jesus' warning about tribulation. When you get a taste of what Jesus promises, you'll notice that a life of pampering ease is not included.

But what He does promise is hope amidst the chaos of life, certainty in the uncertain and beauty in the middle of an ash heap. Our job is not to sit pretty on a raft of ease - His instructions are to be ready.

Be ready . . . for what? What should we be ready for? I don't think it is so much about God making an appearance because the truth is - He is already here.

So how can we recognize Jesus amidst the clamour? My experience has been - one unpolished step at a time.