New Beginning

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. ~ Proverbs 19:21

It is time, my friends, for me to take the next step on this journey. I've chosen not to post for the past month, so that I can work on some other writing projects.

As I complete my LongRidge Writer's Course, I've decided that it is time for me to start submitting my work. Yes, to join the real world of writers out there, who must rise against the nemesis of the rejection letter. I'm sure there are plenty in my future, but I press on, hoping for that open door.

I've also taken the plunge, and registered for Mount Hermon. This is HUGE for me! So aside from finishing up assignment number twelve, I will be preparing articles for magazines, writing a forward for a good friend's published book, and working on a short story for a Christmas book I will be submitting to. Not to mention, the Write His Answer workshops that I will start in January, and the Writer's Guild I hope to join in the near future.

God has opened up so many doors for this newbie. I have so much to learn! I invite you to check my blog from time to time, as I will be posting about the ups and downs of this new step. You can also check FaceBook, as I have been dipping into that a bit these days.

It is my hope, that as I take this step into my destiny, that my pursuit of this dream will encourage you to discover your own.

What is God's dream for your life? Like a dear writer friend of mine shared with me, I pass the same words along to you . .

"Go for it!"

Born Leader

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. ~ Proverbs 22:6

It was twelve years ago today that I saw and held my son for the first time. His wiggly little body had become familiar from the inside during the months he was baking. Now the movements were felt from the outside. It was surreal.

I labored for hours, about sixteen to be exact. An epidural brought some relief, but because only half of my body responded, I felt every contraction on my left side. Mark watched the contraction monitor, and tried to prepare me at the lines went up. With each crescendo of consuming pain, it was all I could do to breath through the waves.

After what seemed like an eternity, Matthew finally entered the world. He let out a dignified scream, and proceeded to grab the suction bulb right out of the doctor's hands. Now that my friends, is what you call a born leader! I can just imagine what he must have been thinking, after getting to know him these twelve years.

Hey, it is freezing out here. Where am I? Who is this guy in the white coat, is he the one who is in charge? Get that thing out of my face!

After cleaning him off, and handing my husband a tissue to dry the lake on his face, they placed this brand new life on my lap. I held my son. A boy. We did not know the sex of the baby before hand, which made the surprise so sweet.

Those first days home were so difficult. Colic kept Matthew up at all hours of the night, leaving us feeling frazzled and ill-equipped. But as the months wore on, it got easier in some ways and harder in others. Even today, all these years later, raising two sons and a daughter is our greatest joy and our greatest challenge.

My little blond haired cutie is what brought this hard-hearted young mom back to church. It had been years since I stepped foot into a sanctuary full of spirit filled believers. Being angry at God for half of a decade, I really didn't want anything to do with church. But my whole perspective changed when Matthew was born. Mark and I wanted the best for him, and raising him in church seemed like it would be best.

I have a great relationship with my son all of these years later. He is intelligent, loving, and extremely funny. He is one of my favorite people in the whole world! His faith is strong, his commitment to God unwavering. I see great things for this born leader.

My heart swells with pride as I watch my Matthew grow. May God always instill in Him, what is best.

Happy Birthday son. Daddy and I love you so.

Fruit

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 2:5

I read the most amazing prayer request yesterday. It went something like this, "Please pray that I will represent God. That when others see me, they see God." Wow. For some reason it pierced my heart. I longed for the same kind of thing.

As I muddled through Monday, I found myself a little bit on the grumpy side yesterday, especially with my kids. I could blame it on a long list of things, like it being Monday, us being busy, and so on. You know those selfish moments we all have (well, I guess I'm just assuming) where taking care of other people's needs feels like such an inconvenience?

While I still worked to pack lunches, fold laundry, bathe little bodies just like every other night, this night my heart just wasn't in it. I longed for the moments when my kids would finally be in bed so that I could have a little bit of peace and quiet - a little bit of ME time.

That may sound perfectly reasonable, every parent needs a break now and then, right? But something I noticed that was different about yesterday, was my motivation for quiet. I wanted to jump back onto Facebook (I am embarrassed to even write this) to see who might have written on my wall. My mind raced with thoughts about who else might be on line at the same time as me. My pulse quickened . . . my attitude stunk.

We all have things in our lives that seem good - really good, but somehow they squeeze that juicy Fruit of the Spirit right out of our lives. While I have only been a Facebook player for a total of two days, I found that it consumed my thoughts and fought for my attention - a little bit too much.

So what is that vice for you? Is it food? Shopping? Surfing on the web to build cyberspace friendships? Most everything is okay, as long as it is taken in moderation. It is when the thing that we try to keep control of begins taking control of us, that we need to run.

Recognizing this pattern in me, I don't know if the social media is going to be a good idea. It would make sense to keep at it while setting the necessary boundaries, but it seems like once I jump on I can so easily lose track of time, and even more, lose track of the whereabouts and my heart.

As we walk this path called faith together, it is my prayer that your heart would long to look like Jesus. His life paints a portrait of beautiful things, like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.

Anything that might try and steer you away from such things is not worthy of your time. No matter how fun and trendy it might be.

To be a representative of God is serious business - it is no small task. Inconvenient? At times, yes.

But He is worthy of ALL.

Connection

If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! ~ Ecclesiastes 4:10

It was mind blowing. I chose from a list of over eighty people. Clicking on folks to add as friends. As I became familiar with each page and its capabilities, I chatted with a couple of friends on IM -- all at the same time! From invitations to flair, I received quite an education in the hour I spent parked on my living room couch.

Was it time well spent? That, my friend, is the question.

I've been thinking lately, about the importance of building relationships. Getting to know who I am has been key in being able to relate to others. Something very true about who I am got squashed in my growing up years. I could read off a long list of reasons I suspect caused such a shut down, but I choose not to. God is taking me very carefully through each festering wound, to apply the healing balm of forgiveness.

We all have them. Relationship crash and burns. It may have been with a family member, an acquaintance or a good friend. No matter who you've broken ties with and whatever the circumstance was, there is just no getting around it. It hurts.

There are so many things that lend to a break-up. I don't just mean the boyfriend-girlfriend kind, but all facets of the relationship world. Pride, envy, jealousy, selfishness, insecurities and fear, they all lend to a breakdown at some level or another. When communication gets muffled, feelings get hurt and friendships suffer.

With love being our greatest aim, cultivating relationships do seem worthy of my time. I've studied people who are very good at making friends, and there is one thing that is necessary to build a true and lasting friendship. Time. It takes time to get to know the other person, and time to share the details of your own life.

Being the kind of a personality that strives on productivity, I've let the friendship thing slide for too long. I've asked God to show me how to be good at this relationship thing again, and through my pursuit of friendships, He has begun to heal the wounds of past disasters.

While some may view social media as a waste of time, I choose to take a different view of things. Balance is key in the pursuit of any new venture. Scheduling lunches and dates with friends, picking up the phone and calling - just because - and typing a simple message at ten o'clock at night can all add to the beauty of this thing called a friend.

Pity is the busy man who finds he has fallen. It's a lonely world out there. It takes time and energy to make connections. You've gotta work to make friends! It can be frightening if you've been hurt before, but the risk is well worth it.

So I encourage you, it you haven't already done so, take a chance. Jump on this thing called Facebook and invite me to be your friend.

Chances are . . . I'll say yes!

Golden Years

Gray hair is a crown of splendor; ~ Proverbs 16:31a

As I sat in the sterile examination room this morning, my heart raced. I felt faint. Visiting the doctor does not always generate such anxiety. But with an imagination like mine . . . every ticking second felt like an eternity.

I tried to keep myself occupied by settling into the novel I have been chewing on for a week or so. Deep into the storyline, it was easy to escape into the lives of Lydia, Carol, Jacqueline and Alix. Their lives were in turmoil, from cancer diagnosis, to infertility, to marriage problems. The pretend drama seemed easier to cope with than the imagined drama of my own.

I heard a knock. The doctor entered the room, extending his hand. All smiles, he chatted about the weather and then proceeded to ask me about my ailment.

A lump. The one underneath my right arm. This is what brought me all the way to Modesto so early in the morning. With my nerves on edge, I took a seat on the examination table, and told myself to relax. As the doctor examined me, I don't remember speaking, or thinking . . . or even breathing.

"Nothing to worry about. It is a glandular swelling . . . it happens. Our bodies change into our thirties, forties and fifties . . . "

"Are you trying to say that I am getting old?" was my reply.

We both chuckled, and I decided that getting old isn't so bad. Even if it means fatty deposits tucked underneath my armpit. Getting older sure beats the alternative.

As I drove away this morning, I felt grateful for the free bill of health. I smiled with thoughts of God's comfort even through the week of uncertainty. If the news hadn't have been so promising, I know that God would have carried me through.

I thought about the thousands of women just like me who visited the doctor this morning - but left with an uncertain diagnosis. Somebody, somewhere heard the words "You have breast cancer." And for those women, I ached.

While I haven't found a gray hair to date, the affects of ageing are beginning to take their toll. I welcome the idea of growing old and gray. Rocking on a porch, immersed in a juicy novel and living a drama of my own?

Now that's golden.

Lazy Bones

It wasn't that I didn't want to get up this morning . . . I just couldn't. Nestled into a cocoon of comfort, I chose to ignore my alarm clock for just a few extra minutes (okay a whole hour) of bliss. Was it worth it? No, but getting myself out of that billowy haven was close to impossible.

Starting the day without my quiet time made for a rough morning. No matter how much I tried praying (while I raced out the door) nothing would replace my moments alone with God - moments that were forfeited for instant gratification. Ugh.

Now it is the middle of the afternoon, and I struggle to come up with something to post about. Morning is the best time to seize inspirational thoughts . . . while the moon still smiles down on stretching muscles and sleepy eyes. But once I hit that shower, routine takes over, bringing the day's writing pursuit to an end.

My point today, is that when there is nothing going in (a true connection with God through prayer and His Word) . . . then I don't have much to offer out.

While I know that God has still been with me throughout quite a hairy day, I recognize my need to put Him first in all things -- especially at the first part of my day.

Inspiration, wisdom . . . ministry -- true ministry is born of the Spirit. One must listen and obey in order to be used of God. Listening requires stillness.

God's whispers are best heard when it is still quiet . . . by the light of the moon.

Chase

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts . . . ~ Colossians 3:15

Ever been sent on one of these? A wild goose chase? My whole day felt like one yesterday. I was trying to grab hold of God's peace, only to find it slipping through my fingers.

We've all had them. Days where nothing seems to go right, and a pounding headache to boot, which seems to mock every decision you make. You know the kind of day that you can't wait to find an end for?

It was late afternoon, and it was all I could do to process the events of the day. With kids and a dog underneath my feet, I stepped into the door, discovering that the usual afternoon demands clamored for my attention. Homework help here, laundry there, dinner preparation, tidying up -- with soccer practice in an hour there was no hope for putting my feet up. I thought about hiding, but they would find me for sure.

After tying cleats and grabbing a couple of bottled waters, I headed out into the garage to hunt for the soccer stuff. Cones, pennies and other paraphernalia were nowhere to be found. With only about an hour before practice, and my need to get to the store for some Advil, my head spun.

The soccer stuff must be with Mark, across town at Pedretti park. Ugh!

After gathering myself and my two little ones, we piled into the van, and proceeded to the park. Ten minutes later, I found myself casing Mark's truck, only to find it empty. A walk that seemed about a half mile long brought me to my husband's side.

"It's in the garage." he said.

I didn't argue with him for long. I didn't have the energy. So, after another grunt of despair, I took an about face and headed back toward the car. Another half mile. Then proceeded to fight traffic all the way back home, to find the soccer stuff right where he claimed it to be - in the garage.

I paint this aggravating picture for one reason today. Not to vent, because I really did spend a lot of time praying it all through yesterday. I don't share it all to whine, although that would be tempting. I share it today, to illustrate a point.

Sometimes life is frustrating. We do our absolute best to get it right, and we still falter. Things beyond our control (like stupidity) spin us into an orbit of despair. But if we will let Him, Christ can be at the core, holding it all together.

As I fell into bed last night, I thanked God for helping me through the day. I was grateful for the composure I kept despite the turmoil inside. I rested in the fact that mistakes were allowed, and that it did not mean that I was a bad mom, just a human one.

Those wild geese can send even the most even tempered mom to her wit's end. But catching yourself a goose ladies, is worth the blood, sweat and tears.

The trick is to hold on to those feathers.

Team Building

Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the King. ~ 1 Peter 2:16-18

It was years ago that I began picking up these little nuggets. Bits of wisdom about the recruiting process. That God would use me to recruit anybody is still a mystery.

My neighbor Iona and I sat facing each other at her kitchen table. I had pen and paper in hand as I shot questions in her direction. I had asked her if I could practice on her, hoping to get better at this recruiting thing. I was a Mary Kay Beauty consultant all of those years ago, and after excelling in sales I wanted to take it a step further and begin building my team.

After I finished my formal interview, she said something to me that I will never forget.

"It doesn't seem like you are very excited about what you are doing."

Ouch. I remember feeling blindsided by her comment, although her honesty is just what this beauty consultant needed. As much as I had talked myself into the fact that making women feel beautiful was important to me -- the "sales" side of it was never a good fit for this heart.

Shortly after that eye-opening encounter, I decided to step away from selling Mary Kay altogether. I couldn't stand the idea of building relationships on the basis of sales. My conscience wouldn't allow it.  Being in sales is not a bad thing, many folks bring in extra income this way.  But for me, my heart could not find rest.  

Years later, as I have stepped into various leadership roles at the church, the issue of recruitment has become part of my job responsibilities once again. At first, I cringed at the thought. I had never been any good at it before, what made me think I would be any better under this new title?

But something amazing happened on the inside of this knee shaking soldier. One by one, God began building teams under my leadership. It started small, and before I knew it, God had used me to recruit a team of over twenty women. I have never for a moment felt the need to take the credit. God and I both know where the power came from.

Today I look at a dream team of women that God used me to gather for Women's Ministries. I do not say this to pat myself on the back - it really was His doing, but to share the miracle with any of you out there who might still be loathing the idea of recruiting.

I'd like to share some of the things I've learned through the years. They have brought me much success. These steps have sharpened me as a leader, and have trained me to fully depend on the Lord for team building.

1. Pray. Ask God who He wants to have join your team. Aside from helping you reach your vision, God wants to grow this individual in leaps and bounds. He wants to use you to help them take that next step.

2.Watch. Take note of individuals God brings across your path. Who has proven to be reliable? Trustworthy? Punctual and hard working?

3. Plan. Put the job description in writing so that the other person will know what is expected.

4. Approach. Time to put yourself out there. Set a date for lunch or coffee. Be honest in why you have approached this person. Give them time to think in over and pray, but set a deadline on when they should get back to you.

5. Listen. God will often times connect a need with a person ready to fill it. The trick is to be listening. This happens all the time. God can use you to bridge the gap!

Above all, believe in what you are selling -- with all your heart. If you have any hesitation about where you find yourself, do not make the mistake of inviting others to come along.

Happy recruiting, and remember . . . God will do the work through you. Step aside, and embrace the wonder of team building. Believe in yourself, and in every person He has you tap on the shoulder.

God already does.

Toast

Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. ~ Proverbs 4:7

I was asked to give a toast at my sister's wedding this summer. The idea thrilled me and scared me half out of my mind, all at the same time.

There I stood, in front of a crowd I only half knew (my sister's half), I spoke blessing and provision from the heart. Feeling unpolished and a little bit unprepared, I loved the whole experience, knowing that although I was a little bit rusty - this is what I was made for.

Stepping into a brand new world yesterday, and for the very first time, I took my seat at the Toasmaster's table. There were eight of us, all ready at a moment's notice to stand up and give a speech. I felt mesmerized, as the Toasmaster of the afternoon took the ball and ran, getting everybody to participate - even the guest, which happened to be yours truly. It was a solid hour of adrenaline, and I couldn't have had more fun.

Pursuing a writing a speaking ministry is what landed me in that chair yesterday afternoon. I've always held on to the dream of speaking in front of large crowds -- and to discover that there is a club that polishes those skills seemed out of this world! People very different from me, from all walks of life, sharing the same goal. To know what you want to say, and to deliver it with clarity and class. Wow.

Formality and structure carried our meeting, allowing much to be accomplished. As a guest, I was treated with kindness, but was expected to jump right in. Challenge being the catalyst to the group, I learned early on that this was no spectator sport. I was up for the challenge, and felt very comfortable jumping right in.

I truly believe that every person God has created, has been given a sweet spot. There is something each of us has been given to accomplish here on earth - something that we have been gifted in - something that we lose track of time doing.

What is that one thing for you? Maybe you enjoy gardening, taking care of children or typing in numbers. Do you lose track of time while drawing, chatting with a friend or cooking for your family?

For me, it is speaking and writing. I don't really know why God has put this burning desire in my heart to impart truth to others, but I am honored that He has. I can't be certain that I know what will come of this Toastmaster's membership. It may never go further than a group of eight . . . and that would be okay.

A room with a handful of people ready to listen, people to pour into, seeds to plant. I have so much still to learn, and I look forward to seeing what every member will teach me. What joy. Who would have thought that a group that makes such a big deal about a piece of toast would be just my kind of thing?

I encourage you today. If you have been able to pinpoint that sweet spot inside of you - pursuit it wholeheartedly! It may cost you everything, but selling out should never be an option.

I end today with a toast. To all of those dreamers out there - as you reach for the stars . . .

Make God your pursuit.

Mush

Do not think of yourselves more highly than you ought . . . ~ Romans 12:3b

I was responsible for a recipe gone wrong. Everybody knew it. Especially the potato salad maker.

It was a lazy summer afternoon. Our family had been invited over to a special writer friend's house for a BBQ. Kids were encouraged to bring their swim gear, while parents signed up to bring a dish.

What could I bring? I thought. I want to really dazzle them with something that will minister to their tummies and bless their hearts. I know . . . my potato salad will be just the thing!

A five pound bag of potatoes later, I stood in my kitchen, mixing the final ingredients. Egg, mayonnaise, mustard, dill weed, pickles, a touch of salt . . . I carefully placed the glop into one of my finest bowls, and sprinkled the last bit of paprika on for color.

Later on, while the adults spent time chewing the fat, the kids were enjoying the pool. It was time for dinner. After drying the kids off, we formed a single line around the kitchen island. Everybody's contribution to the meal brought great anticipation. Hot dogs and chicken, garlic bread, pretzel salad. My potato salad stood smack dab in the middle. If there were a trophy for beauty, I would have taken first.

I got my plate, and chose a seat on the picnic bench. What happened next was devastating. Cutting into my meat . . . yummy. A bite of bread . . . delicious. Then, I brought my own masterpiece up to my mouth, and with a bite of regret I forced the swallow.

My potato salad was terrible. I knew it. Everybody else knew it too. My mind scrambled for an answer. Was it the fact that I tried to double the recipe? Were the potatoes bad? Not enough mustard?

Emotions flooded me, but I continued to force a smile. I hated to disappoint my new friends, and more than anything else to be known as such a terrible cook.

I chose not to say anything about the potato salad that day. I did not want anybody to feel the need to lie and tell me that it was good. Silly as it may sound, I felt like the potato salad reflected on me. Looking pretty good on the outside most of the time, these folks are soon going to see that underneath the garnish is a tasteless scoop of mush.

Every felt like a bland bowl of salad? Do you err on the side of performance like I do? Thinking that what you do or don't do dictates your worth?

My bout with potatoes that day taught me an important lesson about identity. My salad may have been a flop, but the disaster did not determine my worth. God allowed my recipe to take a dive, to point several unhealthy patterns of thinking out. People pleasing does not contribute to an solid sense of self worth. Ministering to others is one thing. Having to get it perfect can be quite another.

I encourage you today to chalk up your own failures to God's view of success. The Lord detests pride of any kind, even the potato salad kind. Do not think more highly of yourself than you ought. Let the love of the Lord, and not a bowl of starch dictate every thought you have about yourself.

And when your own potato salad trophy (pride) rears it's ugly head, force a smile and swallow, knowing that humiliation cann be one of the Lord's greatest gifts.

Knot

Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. ~ 1 Peter 5:7

Being pulled in a hundred different directions is bound to tie a person in knots. Ever been there? The demands of the day can become pretty heavy, especially when we try to carry the load all by ourselves.

It was a typical Monday morning. A stack of white cards decorated my desk, just waiting for my attention. Between phone calls and other interruptions, I began to type each plea, one at a time. Questions, suggestions, prayer requests all stacked a mile high. Each one representing one family, one individual - one heart.

As my fingers danced across the keyboard to articulate every person's petition, my brow began to furrow and my stomach got tight. Cancer diagnosis, families separating, job loss, broken relationships and broken hearts. With every request my heart got heavier and heavier, until it hit the bottom of an ocean of sadness - like a stone.

Hardened. This is one way I sometimes cope with exposure to such sadness. Wanting to turn my emotions off and become a robot, I choose not to let it in. I can't, it is just too much. But as stubborn as this girl can be, God still allows little chinks in my self-made armor to wear me down, all for the sake of accomplishing one purpose.

That of prayer.

On days like Monday, I need to cast EVERY care on Him. My arm may get sore after I've thrown number ninety-nine, but God's shoulders are broad enough to carry a world's worth of sadness and sin.

The strains of life can tie even the most even keeled person into a ball of mush. Life is hard. Sadness is a part of the journey, but we don't have to go it alone. There is something magnificent that God has given us to do in the face of our storm.

God can move a mountain full of mountains -- through you.

Let God untangle the mess life has thrown your way. He is able. God cares about the things that concern you

. . . more than you'll ever know.

Winning Goal

. . . if it is leadership, let him govern diligently, ~ Romans 12:8b

All eighteen eyeballs were fixed on me. Fidgety little bodies, geared up for the game ahead. I sat on the bag that held goalie gloves to keep my pants from soaking through.

Struggling to find words, I worked to keep their attention. We talked about game strategies, Halloween costumes, grandma and grandpa's . . . I felt awkward and out of place. Loving on a bunch of kids shouldn't be so hard, should it? When my focus is on me instead of Christ, every attempt at leadership is an un-scorable goal.

Taking the place of a servant through ministry several years ago, God decided to promote me to leadership. Me. I sent this question heavenward often, "Are you sure Lord?" Going from nursery helper, to classroom leader, to nursery supervisor was quite an experience. Being "in charge" of anything kept me on my face before Him.

After a year or so, I was given the opportunity to lead the Crisis Care ministry. This proved to be a wild ride of obedience and surrender, from the moment I came on, till the season came when it was time to step away.

Next, I was on to Women's Ministries Director, something I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around. There were many days I just couldn't figure out for the life of me how I got there.

So why would a seasoned leader be afraid of a handful of four and five year olds? A couple of reasons come to mind. One is comparison. My cousin Jodie is awesome with the kids. She has a natural knack for getting them to listen. Her instructions are clear and oozing with love.

But for this particular game, Jodie wasn't there. Being coach's assistant, all eyes fell on me. Following in her footsteps felt a little bit intimidating. But as the game wore on, I decided to embrace the soccer coach God put on the inside of me - different from Jodie, but still okay.

Comparison kills. I would venture to say that it is the leading cause of death among ministry, especially for those God calls into leadership. When we are given the privilege of leading a group, so much of our hearts and souls get deposited. For people who have had their hearts squashed through the years, putting yourself out there can be a terrifying thing.

Saturday's game taught me a lot. As the rain came pouring down in the second half, I felt proud of the team that had been entrusted to me. With one injury, lots untied shoes and four goals, the purple team (otherwise known as the Sharks) had much to celebrate.

Every player from sweeper to goalie had been challenged to take a step outside of their comfort zone - all for the sake of the team. Same was true for this group's fearless leader. Working to acquire the fancy footwork of leadership, I welcome opportunities to be in charge, all for the sake of shinning God's light.

While acquiring leadership skills and being confident of your calling are important, shooting for love should always be every leader's greatest aim.

Junk Drawer

This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. ~ 1 John 3:19,20

Junk drawers. They have an amazing knack for collecting, well . . . junk. My husband would tell you that we have far too many of these nuisances hidden in cabinets and furniture. While I get just as annoyed when I am trying to find that roll of scotch tape - I would have to say that I am an advocate for such drawers. With a little bit of tidying, they have become our family's favorite place to dig.

Getting home from work today, I reached in to locate a pen. I had a check to write, and while I was able to grab this writing utensil with ease, it was the rest of the gobbledygook that sent my blood pressure rising. For the next twenty minutes I dumped the drawer, and proceeded to put the junk back, in a more organized manner.

This is where the fun began. Purging papers and broken toys, old batteries and objects I could not determine the origin of -- they were all tossed. All that remained was a stack of sharpened pencils, some pens, our keys and a stack of gift cards. Glasses, a ruler and that role of scotch tape were tucked along the side of the organized compartments.

It got me thinking today, about how many times my heart will wind up just as much of a mess. The busyness of life causes things to get misplaced. God will reveal the contents through the tenderness of His Word, and like a busting drawer of junk, I feel like tossing the whole package altogether.

While we all may have some pruning to do now and then, God never instructs us to get rid of the whole tree. Character may need some sharpening, and a little of this and that arranged. But the purpose of the drawer (your heart) will always remain the same.

As God molds and shapes you into the image of His Son, never make the mistake of thinking you are a lost cause. We all struggle with weak areas. We make mistakes, we fall down. If God does not condemn you, then why should you?

Be at rest fellow soldier. God is so much greater than our untidy and sometimes wayward hearts. Get working on that drawer and don't forget to save the redeemable parts. While you may struggle with discerning the treasure from the trash, God is ready and able to help you sort the mess out.

He can show you which parts to save. God knows everything.

Marker

As calendar pages flip and seasons change, we take note of special dates. Landmarks cause us to stop and take in the wonder of it all. Holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays are reasons to celebrate life.

I celebrate today for a couple of reasons. One reason, is that today is a very special friend's birthday. Truly a God-send, she is somebody that have found to be a catalyst to my growth. We dream, we celebrate and cry together. I could not even begin to express what her presence in my life has meant. My beautiful friend, you know who you are -- Happy Birthday, I love you!

Another reason I slap this scrumptious looking piece of cake up, is for the fact that I celebrate one year of working for New Life. It was one year ago today that I stepped into a position that I feel I was born for. I LOVE my job. I love the nature of what I do, the challenges, the people I interact with on a daily basis. The opportunities for growth, the ministry . . . all of it! God has truly answered this girl's prayer with a chance to shine His light every day.

Anniversaries are markers, proof that we have been here. Long after we have ascended into heaven, those people we influenced will continue to celebrate the beautiful things about our contribution to the world.

Who have you influenced today? Bringing somebody joy can be pretty simple. A smile, a note of encouragement, offering a favor -- extending grace.

Every day given is a gift from God. Every year marked, is proof that there is life after the pain.

Celebrate with me! Our God is so good.

Image

In the same way, the Spirit help us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.  ~ Romans 8:26,27

My message is simple today. A picture is worth a thousand words. I will let it speak for itself . . .

What does this image say to your heart?

Don't think, just respond. 

Immediately, time is of the essence -- don't wait.

There is so much He longs to accomplish.

THROUGH YOU.

Paper or Plastic

Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. ~ 1 Peter 4:9

It was Saturday afternoon. Makayla and I had just swept through Food Max, picking up the week's nutrition. Food items had been payed for, and a line made of munchies sat patiently on the conveyor belt.

I made my way to the end of the line, ready to begin the packing process. This is when she came into view. She offered to help in a polite but insistent way. I stepped aside, ever so grateful - and began watching ministry at its best.

Many times I find myself having to bagging groceries myself - which I really don't mind. To be honest, there is something kind of fun about the whole process, getting to step into the role of grocery bagger for a couple of minutes. Like a little girl playing house, I delight in the daydream.

Most grocery baggers would probably not share my same enthusiasm. Many of the baggers who offered to help in the past, did so in the same polite way . . . but something was different about today. Something was different about this particular bagger. She went above and beyond the typical "paper or plastic" sentiment. She was out to make every bit of our grocery experience fun.

As Makayla and I stood still, we all chatted while she packed. Careful about what went in which bag, she kept the colds separate. Every bag was strategically placed. Fruit and bread rested on the top.

We learned a lot about this angel in disguise that day. As a mother of four herself, she had a very different view of a trip to the grocery store, and a very special attitude about her job. Unlike the usual teenage boy baggers, this mom worked with a unique kind of enthusiasm.

With attention to detail and playful conversation, this woman's ministry was amazing. A kind word, a smile . . . getting someone to giggle can bring joy to any monotonous chore.

Who would have thought? A grocery store can be a great place to shine. I am grateful for this dear woman's example. She made the best of her circumstances and whistled while she worked, sending us home with a song of our own.

I admired her silent ministry, and thanked God for such heart.

New Chapter

Like a fresh chapter on the pages of my life, I begin a new season. It has been quite refreshing to take a month off. Room to stretch my legs . . . space to simply be.

If you happen to land on this blog, I welcome you with open arms and a warm heart. Some of you are dear friends of mine, while other eyes belong to faces I have never seen. Both are precious to me for different reasons.

You may notice that I have changed the name of my blog. This signifies a monumental transition for me. While it can be seen on the outside, it is mostly discerned within. This name change, the tap tap tap of my keyboard is a step of faith - my response to His call. The call to write.

Taking some time away, and stepping down from an honorable ministry position, has given me new insight into what God is truly calling me to. While I have been pondering several thoughts such as: who my audience is, my topic and niche' -- ultimately I have one story to tell, one message to convey.

God is my life.

Some days that message may be delivered in a story about fighting with a tube of toothpaste. Other posts may include wisdom (something a little bit more sophisticated) and then again, maybe not. You might find yourself being posed with a question about your own happenstance, your choices, your life.

As we tread the path of self discovery . . . we are very likely to bump into Him. I am honored that you are here to join me. Together we can work on discerning God's will. What does God have planned for your life? I have been called to a writing kind of path. What about you?

It is my prayer that our response to God, will be one of absolute DEVOTION.

It's great to be back.

A Few Crumbs

"How many loaves do you have?" ~ Matthew 15:34

I've seen God work miracles through my cousin Jodie. I am so proud of her. From Awana commander and chief, to the simplicity of genuine friendship - she sets a great example for all of us.

It was a lazy summer afternoon, and I remember puttering around the office tending to this and that. Out of nowhere, inspiration hit me, and I knew I needed to pick up the phone. Makayla was old enough to play soccer. So was Lilly. Like a tornado, thoughts began swirling around my head - thoughts of large hair bows and pink soccer cleats.

Knowing I would be taking the jump with her, I dialed the phone. We had talked about coaching together before, but with the deadline staring us in the face, this was the moment of truth. After thinking it over and praying it through, Jodie was up for the challenge.

Neither one of us had much to bring to the table. We'd never coached before. I guess you could say we had a measly basket with a few crumbs.

Monday came, and as each family joined us at Dennis Earl for practice, I watched the miracle unfold. One kid after another was greeted by Coach Jodie, with open arms and a warm heart. I watched Jodie work her magic for the next hour, as kids were instructed, nurtured and loved. Standing close by, as her assistant, I marveled at how fulfilling it can be to watch another person shine.

Opportunities come a knocking every single day. Often times we don't feel like we have enough to bring to the table, so we'll shrug our shoulder and brush off something God has in the makes. A bit of time here, not much skill or experience there. But when God initiates things through inspiration of the Holy Spirit - when He wants to feed lives - we don't have to worry about the few crumbs left in our baskets. God alone will do the feeding. Our job is to show up.

So what have you been tossing around in your brain lately? Been contemplating stepping out, but feel ill equipped? Take comfort my friend, God promises to go with you. If it's His call, He will be certain to show up, take over and run the show.

Do proceed with wisdom though. Not everything that is dangled in front of our noses would be beneficial. Take some time, pray it through.

Jesus fed the multitude with the benevolence of a young boy and his lunch. He wants to do the same through you. Never underestimate the power of a poured out heart. God will use every ounce of love you are willing to give.

Ministry is often times born of inspiration.

Be listening.

Oasis

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom . . . ~ Proverbs 9:10

We all have weak spots. Places that seem insurmountable. Demons that keep revisiting. The enemy will go for the chink in your armor every time. He likes to play dirty.

It is a beautiful Saturday morning. I find myself in the throws of nature. All signed up to join the Jr. High kids for camping, I grab my courage (what little is there) and join the bunch for a nature walk. These youngin's are leaping to and fro without any effort or hesitation. I, on the other hand, want to park underneath the closest tree and read a book. But still, I press on.

We reach our destination, and a hundred feet below sits a beautiful creek filled with fresh water. Large boulders and loose dirt blaze the trail to the oasis. From underneath the shaded tree, I watch as every person, child and adult heads down the dusty trail. I participate with eyes only, and decide to stay where it is shady and safe. Watching from a bird's eye view was this girl's fancy. I was not wired to trample around in mud and sand. Some may call that fear, but I liken it to wisdom.

Taking a step toward God's voice takes a lot more courage than I can ever muster up. I am not much of a thrill seeker myself, usually retreating to the safest and most comfortable spot. I am sort of an inside girl, I guess you could say, when it comes to - well, a lot of things.

Hearing His voice and responding will often times mean recognizing who God made in you. There is freedom in the embrace of yourself. We long to fit in, and will often times try and alter our own personality to fit the mold. Which mold? If I remember correctly, God created each of us unique - there are no two of us alike in the whole world . . . in all of history.

The chinks in our armor can often times go unseen. Being down on yourself for not being just like everybody else is a slippery slope. Don't go there.

God made you the way you are on purpose - for a purpose.

If jumping into fresh water with reckless abandonment is your thing - then go for it! But if you'd rather park it underneath the cool shade of a tree, then have a seat my friend.

Fear can be pretty sneaky.

Fear of the Lord can keep all other fears at bay -- even the fear of knowing and trusting yourself.

Peace

"Lord if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." ~ Matthew 14:28

So many times I've heard myself send that same question to the sky. "Lord, is that you?" Darkness looms. The wind and the waves threaten to sink me for good. But walking on water is worth the risk. Jesus is worth the risk.

I'd like to write today about some friends of mine who are stepping out onto that water. Greg and Sandy Hazenburg, God's chosen ones for a task of great magnitude. They have heard the call. Throwing caution to the wind, they are stepping out of the safety of a boat that has kept them afloat for a long time . . . all for the sake of grabbing God's hand.

With a heart for the west side of Turlock, these special friends will be planting a brand new baby church. Being pregnant with this dream for a year now, this birth brings great joy. Prayer walks, contact with families, visions and leadings from the Holy Spirit - they walk forward with much to tend to - many lives to impact. I am so proud of them for taking this step.

God asks all of his disciples to take a very uncomfortable and risky step at some point. My experience has been that He asks several times -- all for the sake of knowing Him. It may not necessarily be to plant a church, but we've all been called to leave everything behind to follow Christ.

So what has God been calling you to do? Has it seemed impossible? Crazy even? There is one surefire way of knowing God's voice amidst the wind and the waves. Great precipice jumps and high wire acts of service to God have strengthened my listening skills through the years.

If you are ready to take that step, and can't be sure if it is in fact the Lord calling your name, then ask yourself this question . . .

Where is your peace?

While steps towards God will often times cause us to grow in leaps and bounds, and even break our hearts in two -- peace is always present when it is Jesus calling out.

It's okay to ask Him, "Lord, is that you?"

When His answer comes, I want to encourage you - don't hesitate a single moment. Blessing awaits. Something brand new longs to be born.

Take courage from Greg and Sandy's example.

It's time to step out of that boat.

To get a taste of the incredible ministry God is calling Greg and Sandy to, visist http://www.sandyhaze.blogspot.com/.

Soil

He who has ears, let him hear. ~ Matthew 13:9

Some of life's lessons have a tendency to go right over my head. Just when I think I'm heading down the right path - bam. I hit a wall of sin. Broken, I look to the sky, needing a lift from my Saviour. Ever faithful, He picks me up, brushes me off and sends me on my way.

I sat in Matthew's seat at school last night. Surrounded by parents and teachers for back to school night, I realized that I fell into the grown-up category. How could this have happened?

It was just yesterday that I was facing Jr. High myself, and everything awkward that went along with it. Greasy skin, shapeless bod, goofy hair and mismatched clothes. I was anything but cool in Jr. High, but I so longed to fit in. Seeing things from an adult perspective last night made me ache, wishing I could give it just one more go around.

Did I just say I wish I could be in Jr. High again? Wait just a minute - there is something really wrong with this picture. Why would anybody want to re-live such torture? I think what I mostly longed for, was to do seventh and eight grade again - as an adult. I'm a different person since I accepted the Lord.

Back then, every lesson fell on the rocky soil of my life. Not only was I squeezing God's message out, so many school of my disciplines were missed, several lessons I never took to heart, homework that went undone and tests I should have studied harder for. Regret can be a poisonous thing.

I prayed silently for my son as I sat in that little chair, grateful that he will get the chances that I missed. The chance to feel good about himself, to really apply himself and know where he is going. Matthew already knows which college he wants to go to, he already knows what he wants to be when he grows up.

The soil of his heart is ready.

Jesus spoke in parables. Stories that people of his day could really relate to and apply. He used common examples to explain the intricate tangling of theology. The soil of one's heart measured their teachability.

How's your soil? Have you choked God's messages out due to worry and unbelief? Have you tasted the bitter weed of regret, letting it choke the fruit out of your life?

Precious friend, while it is true that we only get one go-around on this earth, we must always remember. We serve a God who is in the business of second chances, and third, and fourth . . .

It's never too late to discover what you want to be when you grow up. God's still peeling back the layers of dirt in my life.

Believe He can do it the same for you. From mustard seed to fields of green - every chapter of your life tells a story.

Every story matters.

Rules

"I desire mercy, not sacrifice . . . " ~ Matthew 12:7b

Written in stone were my goals for the weeks ahead. Knowing where I am supposed to be going made filling my agenda easy. Every slot of time held productive activities, from studying to writing - all for the dream of going somewhere.

I looked my dear friend square in the eye, professing to live out the words that hit my spiral journal. With trepidation, and the loud beating of my heart, I knew that the first step was going to be to let some things go. The rest would mean consistency - the daily choice of letting go - the choice to pick up the new.

The first week I soared like an eagle. I didn't miss a single beat. My life mirrored the perfectly planned out rulebook. But somewhere between the weekend and Monday, my best intentions began unraveling. My commitments got clouded up in what I "felt like doing." Ever been there?

Friday was set for writing. It being my day off, I had a huge block of time to devote to a new assignment. It was in my list of rules, sitting patiently between reading and blogging. But something more important tugged at me, giving me permission to throw out my rule book for the day. My son Matthew needed school clothes. Jr. High would begin in a couple of days and this was our chance to spend some quality time. This was my chance to bend the rules.

Rules. They can either make us or break us. In Matthew chapter twelve, Jesus is ridiculed for not keeping the Sabbath holy, one of God's great big rules. While the rules were put in place as guidelines (for our protection and good), something more important took precedence. Healing the sick and saving sheep seemed more in line with God's most important rule - that of love. The Pharisees just didn't get it.

Where have you become too rigid? Have you carried the guilt of failure in the name of keeping the rules? Are you your worst disappointment?

I encourage you today, to hold the rules loosely and get back on that horse. While being a good steward of the time and resources God gives is important, it should never take the place of the divine appointments Jesus sprinkles in here and there. Keep balance, but leave enough margin on your calendar and in your heart for God's interruptions.

Rules keep order and align our hearts to Him. Without them, we can become a crooked and perverse generation. But just remember, God's rules and our rules can be worlds apart.

However lofty the goal, always remember . . . LOVE trumps.

Translations

But wisdom is proved by her right actions. ~ Matthew 11:19b

I stood on the edge of a precipice. Jumping would mean the possibility of death - but then again, so would not jumping. Keeping it safe probably wouldn't end so violently, but beneath the surface I would suffocate. Hearing God's gentle nudge to take the leap sends my heart to my throat. No turning back. Both ways seem hopeless and bleak, so which to take?

Then I hear the answer in a sweet breezy hush. "Peace my child, where is your peace?"

So I jump . . .

Interpretation can be pretty important, especially when it comes to discerning God's will. A visit to the Bible bookstore displays dozens of translations, bridging our heart to God's. From the beautiful language of the King James, to the story form of The Living, interpretation can take on a life of it's own. The secret is not becoming familiar with the language of that day, but to understand who God was writing to and why. This is a vital step in the studying process.

It is too easy to skip to application without taking the time to interpret.

Interpreting takes a serious comittment before we can really gain any ground. Devotional reading has it's place among the quiet time buffet - but what happened to dirt digging studying? Anybody else hungry for meat?

Which interpretation of your life are you receiving today? God's or your own? Does jumping seem too expensive? Trust me, it will cost you everything. But your wings will catch air as you embrace God's dream for your life.

Take the wonder of it all in. Wisdom means choosing right.

Cost

Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. ~ Matthew 10:32

What would you be willing to pay to follow Christ?

It was my turn to pay for the groceries. After I had endured a line a mile long, the checker sent me a sheepish smile. My two little ones wove in and out between myself, the grocery cart and every other obstacle they could find. One wanting gum, the other wanting to help. With a swipe of my ATM card, I glanced at the groceries that now had to be bagged, trucked home and put into cupboards. The price to pay was more than cash. Sanity and bounds of time and energy were also on the line.

It got me thinking about how much we misinterpret cost. It is easy to haphazardly stand in line for the many opportunities life dishes out, without really weighing our shopping cart. Let's see, I'll take a little bit of that to fill my Wednesday nights, and oh that Saturday afternoon commitment is looking tasty. Before we know it, we are knee deep in chaos, and wonder if we'll have enough steam to make it back home.

What would you be willing to pay to follow Christ? Matthew chapter 10 is full of very expensive items. Let's fill our shopping cart with God's display. His twelve disciples were given the following challenges. This is what following Him would require:

- courage to drive out evil

- certainty of the call

- ears to listen to instruction

- freely give / freely receive

- leave all security behind

- discernment, wisdom

- aim to please God not people

- leave the outcome to God

- be sharp and repentant

- stand in spiritual battle

- prepare for persecution and hate

- rely on God's words spoken through you

- be ready for the next move

- stay humble and teachable

- do not fear

- speak of what God has done

- do not fear death

- know your value

- acknowledge God before men

- hold family ties loosely

- take up your cross

- all of your love

- feed, clothe and hydrate the least of these

Nothing is quite as satisfying as home newly stocked with groceries. Ready for the week ahead, knowing that your needs will be met is a great feeling. It is the same with our response to God's call. While the cost may seem a mile long, there is nothing in the world that beats the soul satisfaction of following Him.

What should you be adding to your list today? Is there something in particular that God wants tucked into the cupboard of your heart? Weighing the cost is an important step. Following Jesus requires far more than we have to give, so I encourage you to tap into the resources of the Holy Spirit.

Lose the distractions. Your inheritance awaits you.

Salute

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ~ Matthew 11:29,30

My view of God can often be skewed. Instead of the loving Father the Bible says He is, I seek to find an unbendable, authoritarian army sergeant, just waiting for me to make a wrong move. My motivation to please Him stems from fear. Not the healthy reverential kind of fear, but a fear that expects the bomb to drop at any moment.

I noticed myself falling into an old familiar pattern yesterday. Contemplating a decision of enormous proportion, I assumed I had it all figured out. God requires A . . . plus my response, which would be B . . . which of course equals C. Right?

I had indeed heard from God, and my tendency is to run like the wind in the direction of His prompting. No linger around for confirmation - why wait? If the band aid must come off, why not rip it off and get it over with?

But after thinking about what God's Word says about His character, something wasn't adding up. God is never in a hurry, so why was I obeying at the speed of light?

Obedience is key in keeping in step with our Heavenly Father. But I think it is important to dialogue with God about His timing, and to seek clarity and confirmation through His Word before bolting for the door. More than a hand salute, God wants wholehearted trust.

We serve a God who is very much pressed to perfection, wearing the greatest medals of honor. But unlike a drill sergeant, God is a loving Father, wanting us to see His heart more than His hand.

Who are you saluting today? Your perception of God - or the God of the Bible?

The difference, my friend, can make all the difference in the world.

Exegesis

"Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock." ~ Matthew 7:24

As summer winds down and my kids head back to school, I will be taking my own seat at the school desk. With God's call to write, I've taken a good look at the industry, and what it will mean to really pursue my dream. If I've learned anything at all, it is just how much I still don't know.

I have longed, for years, to really sit down and study the Bible. Topical studies and book studies have been great, but they just haven't been able to reach the deep itch I have inside - to know God through His Word. Many things have attributed to my procrastination. I could get down on myself for waiting so long, but instead I choose to recognize God's perfect timing as I crack the books.

I've decided to begin a book called, "How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth." With my dictionary as my companion, I work to uncover words like exegesis and hermeneutics. (Kind of overwhelming, I know.) There was something that caught my eye this morning, as I began this edge of my seat adventure. It was written in the first page or two, and said:

"The problem is not understanding the Bible, but obeying it -- putting it into practice."

Ouch. Obedience is key to developing that love relationship with God. Are you being obedient to God's precepts today? What have you known about for years, but still haven't applied to your life?

Knowledge puffs up. It is not necessarily how much we know. It is more about how much we practice.

What are you practicing today?

One Line

One seemingly harmless little line. Who would've thought that it could alter eternity?

There are sometimes places God beckons us to -- forcing us to leave what is comfortable and familiar behind. I won't share specifics just yet, but let's just say that I've drawn a line in the sand.

A revelation from God this weekend came while camping with the Jr. High group. It was not what I was expecting, and I have to say that I still sit with my jaw wide open. His message was clear. His message pierced my heart. His message will change everything.

To my faithful readers, please pray for me. The decision is so new and fragile. Like a line drawn in the sand, one tide rushing in has potential to wipe my new commitment clear out.

Answering God's call does indeed demand all.

If God has been nudging you about something, maybe it is time for you to take action too. You are in good company . . . God's presence is the real deal.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. ~ Deut. 31:8

The Father's Heart

God the Father's heart . . . such intricate simplicity. In the throws of ministry, it would seem impossible to miss. Being the salt and light of the earth, in Jesus' name seems quite noble, and it is. But if we're not careful, working for God can become quite a distraction.

One of the greatest joys of becoming a Christian is being called to His service. God using the weak and foolish parts of us to shame the wise. Incredible. But while we are standing on the front lines, it is important to keep our priorities in check - especially in ministry. An intimate relationship with God must ALWAYS come first, before anything we DO for Him.

Without that strong bond, it is easy to forget why we are serving in the first place. Let's face it, church life is busy. Through meetings, prayer time, classes and retreats God's calling can become faint and distorted. Our idea of what other people need has potential to drown out God's simple message of salvation.

While it is important to reach the world, disciple the fold and support our church's leadership, balance is key. It is in the ceasing of activity that God is best heard.I challenge you to take some time this week to simply be still. Then sit and listen. Who is that one person you can add value to, by pointing him to the cross?

Pastor Dave said something that grabbed me today. "We can be so busy doing stuff that we miss the Father's heart."

God's message will always be that of salvation. Don't let the noise drown Him out.

Pinned

I nestled into my seat at church on Sunday. Second row from the front, in our cozy little corner, with pencil ready. Little did I know, my warm seat and the strength of my husband's arm over my shoulder wasn't going to save me from what came next.

God's arrow.

Pastor Jon began the sermon talking about camping . . . and searching . . . looking for supplies, looking for a good spot, for a good tree . . . and then zing.

Out of nowhere, God pierced my heart with the seventh commandment. "You shall not commit adultery."

Bam.

I was surprised at the pool of blood that ran through my body and seemed to pour out of my feet. Adultery? Me God? One by one, God began showing me all of the things I have put in the place of Him.

I was heartsick, dumbfounded, unable to breath.

I am not talking about the marriage break up kind of adultery. I speak instead about tiny little compromises I've made, here and there, that meant God no longer had first place in my heart.

I had cheated on God.

It is so easy for us to wander down the rabbit trail of life and suddenly find ourselves pinned underneath an 800 pound boulder. As I pondered the message later on, God showed me my boulder, and what it would take to break free.

I am waiting for God's rescue, I know He will come. His Word says so.

What about you? Have you lost sight of your First Love? When was the last time God meant everything to you?

Call to Him . . . even if it means crying from the depth of your own caverned heart. God is crazy about you.

And He stands ready to rescue.

Hearts Wide Open

Yesterday's message was amazing. I watched, as one person after another, shared the deepest part of their heart. Broken marriages, bouts with cancer, alcoholism and infidelity - it was exposed for every eye to see. I've never seen such courage.

I sat astounded at the poise of each participant. They looked like they had been speaking in front of people for years. Words were delivered with great care and deep conviction.

While every story carried a different set of circumstances, the moral was always the same. God's love stepped in, and made what seemed impossible - possible.

So my question for you today is this. What is your story? We all have something to say. How has the Lord rescued you? Was it from yourself, or from the hand of another?

I challenge you to take notice this week of the pit you have been pulled out of. Your story speaks of God's amazing goodness.

Your story matters.

Daddy's Girl

I watched my daughter giggle from deep down the other day.  It was a typical evening.  Mark was watching the Giants game, and I was puttering around in the kitchen looking to start dinner.  She sat curled up, in what has come to be her favorite spot.  She was experiencing the best part of her day.  There was no cartoon involved, nor did a toy catch her gaze.  With a nose nuzzled into the cool smell of after-shave, Makayla delighted in her Daddy - and he in her.  

I've been reading a book over the past week or so, about the idea of God being my Daddy.  It is a strange concept for me to wrap my mind around - I don't know why I struggle so much.  Wanting to crawl into His lap, longing to belt out the song of my heart and dance on top of His over sized feet - yes, this is all true of the little girl inside.  So where does my struggle lie?  I've come to realize that my concept of God can be somewhat skewed.

Romans 8:28 paints a rainbow portrait of God's unmistakable love for me:  And we know in all things God works for the good of those who love  him, who have been called according to his purpose.  

There are some truths that take a really long time to sink in.  It will take several bounces on the knee for me to really trust that God, my Daddy, is safe.  One inch at a time, this little girl is bound to resurface.  Regardless of my circumstances, regardless of how I might "feel", God loves me.  His Word says so.

I long to enjoy the sweetness of complete abandonment some day.  Like my precious little curly cue, I hope someday to surprise myself with a giggle of delight . . . by just enjoying God - knowing that He holds everything, including me, in the palm of His hand.

One Year

It has been one year today since my fingers first found the blog. I remember being enamored by friends who were faithful post writers, wondering if I would be able to fill more than a days worth of ideas.

I have to say, that getting my heart down on paper (or the screen I should say), has brought me great joy. This past year has given me ample opportunities to express those deep and hidden parts of my soul, that up until now only God could see. Writing consistently has given me the chance to sharpen my craft, and I've experienced oodles of healing just by punching on some keys.

My posts have been a mix of everything from celebrating kinds of days, to my down days when I would park on my bottom lip. I've written about thoughts, experiences, feelings . . . you name it. As I have come to know a deep love for writing, I have also discovered a lot about myself. Who am I? What does my voice sound like? This blessed blog has given me a good indication.

If nothing else, this first year of blogging has cemented a truth in for me that I have known for some time now. I was born to write. And I can't wait to see what God's next assignment will be.

I thank you faithful reader - kind and forgiving friend, for letting me be true to myself. It was for your eyes that every page has been written.

And this is just the beginning . . . the preface of what's to come.

Numbers

I am always up for a good stare in your face kind of challenge. One arrived at the tail end of our study last night, and I simply could not resist. The opportunity to brag about God? It's on.

There are some circles that like to play the numbers game. Success is bent on how many walk through the door. I used to be an avid player, that is, until God revealed its shallowness. Through some pretty painful and humbling experiences, God has shown me over and over again that it is not about the numbers.

I can remember meetings that I've prepared, sitting all alone because nobody showed up - not a soul. Talk about wondering if you are hearing from God. Other times I have poured hours in with hopes that the room would be filled with women eager to hear from God, only to find a precious few walk through the door. Disappointment used to linger, but I've done a lot of growing up. God is always faithful to those who answer the call - always. We are not able, in our own human limitations, to bring any kind of magic number together in Jesus' name. God decides. It is our job to go with the flow.

The flow last night? It was a tsunami. I hesitated posting about this, because the miracle this time is in the numbers. There was nothing I did any different - there is no magic formula to explain the phenomenon. After running the same kind of copies and preparing the same kind of coffee, women poured in last night -- seventy of them. I have never seen such a great response. Women are hungry, and the time has come for several to gather. God's appointed time has come.

I continue to hold the number loosely, knowing that God has a tendency to move outside of every kind of box. My main concern are the individuals who have joined us for the journey. That, my friends, is the miracle. Hearts longing to connect with their Creator, women willing to take that next step with God.

Seventy five women for a single study? Forty-five people signed up to be baptized this Sunday? Brothers and sister, Pastor Dave's prediction is finding fruition. Something IS happening. And as God's servants, our place -- is on our face.