I always appreciate the closed doors as much as the open ones. So much of my heart has felt unrested with thoughts of cramming a book proposal into a couple of months. It seems logical - I am going to be at Mount Hermon in April, where editors and agents will be waiting to meet with aspiring writers just like myself. But as logical as it may seem, and as hard as I've tried, I just cannot seem to force this. Unrest has plagued my heart, filling me with anxiety and irritability. This is no way to write - this is no way to live. God has called me to be free.
So as I break away from my self-made shackles, I see that simplicity is key. As I have quieted my heart before the Father, I discern that my expectations and His are quite different. God is not in a hurry. His timing is absolutely perfect, and tending to my husband, my children and my home takes center stage in this season of my life. This is where I find my peace.
Following your dream can be a difficult thing. Watching that door close on your heart squeezes every ounce of selfishness right out. What's left is a surrendered puddle on the floor, one that God can finally take in His hands to mold and shape as He desires.
Well, this soggy little puddle will be preparing three devotionals for April, which means I'd better get my tappin' little fingers warmed up again. Posting to my blog every day did have its advantages. Like stretching exercises or jumping jacks, it got my creative juices flowing - getting me ready for God's next assignment.
Today, I feel pretty out of shape. But with the proper training and the nutrition of God's Word, I'll be back on track in no time.
My dear blogging friend, God's closed doors can be the best manifestations of His love. Never underestimate the value of stillness.
God speaks loudest in the puddles.
