Sparce Heart

If I didn't know any better, I would say that she was glaring at me. Hearty green leaves peeked at me over the rim of our kitchen garbage can. It was a decision I felt a bit guilty about - but made the choice nonetheless. It was simply time to let her go.

The house plant I speak of has decorated my office for as long as I can remember. The purchase was probably an emotional one all of those years ago. Something to spruce up the decor, no doubt. But through the years, the plant slowly became an eye sore. Disproportionate and gangly. There was really no rhyme or reason. It even pained me to look at her.

Finding a squatty and full replacement this afternoon, I decided this was the day. The ceramic pot that held my trusty companion would soon be home to a new houseplant, while "gangly" hit the garbage. It took everything in me (okay I am being a little bit dramatic) to carry her out to the curb.

Often times, I find myself wanting to do the same with some of the people in my life. Love is hard work. True, sacrificial, agape love demands everything I have to give - and so much more. Somebody I admire suddenly becomes scraggly looking, all full of sin. Instead of bringing joy to my life, the relationship begins to generate deep pain - and the thought of walking away and tossing it all seems like the only answer.

Are you in a difficult relationship, one that you are ready to give up on? At the same time does your heart split in two with the thought of saying good-bye? Sounds to me like you might be dealing with a case of love - the kind of love that only God could plant in your heart.

So you may be wondering, is all of this wrestling even worth it? Think about this: What are your leaves looking like these days? Allow the Holy Spirit to reveal the dead leaves in your own heart, and rest in knowing that no matter how ugly your thoughts toward another person have been, God will always receive your repentance with open arms.

God will never EVER give up on you.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ~ 1 Peter 4:8

Colorful Attitude

Tears fell, leaving streaks of dirt across her face. My words were more than her young heart could bear.

“I hate to say it Kay, but you've grown out of that pink shirt.”

I don’t know what was more overwhelming for her, the pile of clothes and toys surrounding her, or the uncertainty of change. With arms folded and brows furrowed, she stared at me with defiance, as if it was my fault - for feeding her.

Going through closets and drawers, preparing for our spring garage sale, Makayla was hit hard with this new reality. I took into account the fact that it was the end of the day. She was a little tired and probably hungry too. Letting go of that garment sent her over the edge.

A lot of times I find myself in the same place. God tells me it is time to clean out the closet and drawers of my heart. One by one, He will very gently reveal the places I have grown out of. I often times park myself in the middle of the overwhelming mess, and with arms folded, I wrestle with the idea of letting the "good things" go.

Later that evening, Makayla’s daddy surprised her with a new shirt, similar in style and color, but this one was in her size. She bubbled with joy!

Something I am learning in this season of my life, is that any time our Heavenly Father asks us to surrender something, it is always for our good. Anything that becomes more important to us than our relationship with Him simply must be stripped away.

Idols come in many styles, shapes and colors. As an adult, the things I hold on to tend to be more complicated than a pink shirt. Is God asking you to give something comfortable and familiar up my friend? He is a tender Father, and His ways can be always be trusted.

It's okay to pout a little, He know how much it hurts.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. ~ Ezekiel 36:26

Card Box

The worn out box holds hundreds of reminders for me. Early into my Christian walk, I began putting together a card box of Scripture verses. Each alphabetised card held a carefully written passage. With a heading at the top, it was easy for me to match my circumstances with Truth.

All these years later, as light begins breaking through the worn and embittered parts of my heart, I decide to dig this treasure up, wipe the dust off and crack her open. My core is warmed as I am reminded once again that God's Word ALONE will be able to rescue me. He will lift me above every circumstance, giving my feet a firm place to stand, filling my heart with inexpressible joy. I can't wait!

Do you have a card box my friend? A collection of safely kept promises from God to you? Maybe you have written special verses in a journal, or you've marked your Bible with highlighters and pencils. If not, I strongly encourage you wrestle with the ways that God's Word applies to your life, because the greatest news of all - is that it does.

You never know when you may need it later on in life. I had no idea that years later, this tiny little box would become a life preserver for me. Today's card ministers something amazing to my heart. May it shed light on things for you too.

Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. ~ Psalm 119:105

Dainty White

The sweetest aroma filled my senses this afternoon - trailing in on a breeze through my son's bedroom window. For a moment, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. It was the smell of home, the sweet scent of Star Jasmine.

This same breed of white flowers greeted me for years, standing brilliantly on the porch of the house I grew up in. From lazy Saturday afternoons playing with sidewalk chalk (back then it was still skinny and white) to my later years when a kiss good-night would end a date - that Star Jasmine stood tried and true, welcoming me through every stage of my young life.

This afternoon, I found myself on my face before the Lord, utterly emptied. Walking through weeks of darkness and discouragement, I prayed that God would replace my heart of stone with a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). I came to terms with the enormity of my lack, and embraced His gain.

A phone call brought me to my feet. My cousin Jodie, a true lifeline, spent an hour reminding me about all the wonderful things the wilderness has forced me to forget.

As we hung up, I felt my heart fill with a distant but familiar hope. And through the scent of God's dainty white flower, He began to chip away the rough edges, giving Joy the courage to head back home.