Less Mess

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. - 2 Corinthians 10:5

You may have heard the saying, "Oil and water don't mix."

I was talking with a friend the other day, about how the same principle applies to fear and faith. As we circled her block for the fifth time, I was reminded of something that God taught me over a decade ago. We cannot operate in fear and in faith at the same time. They simply cannot share the same space.

As I've journeyed through this thing called faith, the Lord has given me hundreds of opportunities to choose. Whether it has been a relationship decision, an issue of attitude or the belief in a hopeful future -- I've noticed something about some of the ways I have handled this issue.

I've gotta come clean this morning, and confess that my auto pilot (when I am not purposefully taking those thoughts captive) will steer me in the direction of fear. Feeling the need to somehow keep myself guarded (as if God needs my help) I have been closing myself and my heart to dozens of possibilities that embrace change. Because change has no guarantees, I've been reluctant. My autopilot takes me right down to the bottom of a slimy and unbecoming pit, telling me that faith is too costly. But is is really?

When I hold fear and faith up to the light, I notice something today. The only one that offers a guarantee is fear -- fear guarantees defeat. Faith, on the other hand, while holding an element of the unknown (which can be scary in itself) holds the possibility of something better and new.

God is calling me to step away from fear, and to embrace the possibilities of a new beginning. Am I nervous about it? Yes, I am shaking in my shoes! But standing in this puddle of fear leaves me feeling all washed up.

Take hold of faith my friend. God's promises are worth the fight. I hope you will join me in reaching this broken world . . . faith is the only chance we've got.

Choose the side with less mess.

(I will be taking a week away from blogging, for some fun family time. Join me next week . . . I will be posting all of the lessons I've learned from my down-time.)

Finger Wound

God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek. - Hebrews 6:18-20

The injury was more than I could bear. While it did not hurt physically, the pain delved deep inside, slicing open all the dreams I held dear.

Strange, but familiar, the wound in my index finger created a gap large enough to see bone. As the day wore on, the injury grew larger. I felt terrified.

"I had that happen to me before," my friend said. "You will not be able to use that finger for anything -- cooking, cleaning, writing, typing -- for nine months!"

Nine months? I looked at the wound, and thought about my writing goals in the coming weeks and months. Deadlines to keep, curriculum to study, queries to submit -- all cut short by an exaggerated finger scrape.

As I woke up from the warped and disturbing dream this morning, I checked my finger carefully. There was no wound.

There are circumstances in our lives that instigate fear, even imagined ones. The dreams that carry us over and above clouds as we sleep, harbor our greatest desires and our deepest fears. While I haven't done a lot of studying up on dreams and their meaning, I do believe that the things we dream can reflect our biggest aspirations as well as unresolved hurts and hang-ups.

It is funny (or maybe not so funny) how the emotions of a dream can be carried into reality, even though we know that is not logical. But then again, when are emotions ever logical?

I find rest today, knowing that there lives an unchanging and recognizable anchor for this soul. Jesus. My healer of little scrapes and gaping emotional wounds. Whether my dreams hold hopes of publication or fears of the boogie-man, I can be certain I will always be rescued.

God's Word is my life. His purposes will prevail.

Cracker Load

For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good--not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne. - Matthew 11:30

I've been carrying a load I was never meant to carry - for far too long. Sitting with my husband last night, discussing the issues of my day, I was washed with a delightfully refreshing truth. I love the differences God created in Mark and I. While I see things on a gray scale most of the time, he is very black and white. We are different in a lot of ways, helping us become better wholes.

Normal, everyday stuff has been an enormous burden on me for months. And for the life of me, I have not been able to figure out why. "Am I in the wrong place? Do I need to change my attitude about things? Am I to carry this load? If so, why? And for how long?"

These questions have run through my mind like a broken record. I've cried out to God for relief, eager to jump off the mountain if it be His will. But while I have worked to try and control and change everything around me, instead, God has been looking to change my heart.

What will a change like this require? Well, as I look at this eager little ant carrying the crackers away, I see that in order to put something that heavy down, I am going to have to let go of my sinful appetite. It is time to surrender "what I want."

While I have carried a load far too heavy, for far too long, I am going to take the advice of my beloved husband and put it down. It sounds so simple, doesn't it?

It sounds simple, because it is simple.

Do you ever find yourself all caught up in a string of messes that are really not yours to untangle? Have you felt strangled by the decisions of other people and powerless to help? My dear friend, you are not responsible for anybody else but yourself. Keeping your own heart right with God is your only responsibility.

I publicly declare today, that I am tired of trying to control the things that are outside of my control. I recognize the hurts I have carried for years, and how they have poorly affected my view of the everyday world around me. I step down from the judgement seat, and give people permission to be who God made them to be. I forgive myself, and others for being less than perfect.

And above all, I embrace the freedom of walking with Jesus affords. Being close to God's heart is all this girl really wants. He came to rescue and to heal. He is more than able.

And because of His love, I am made whole.

Facedown

The Lord is near to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. - Psalm 145:19

I woke up this morning feeling more tired than when I went to bed. This is not good. Tossing and turning through most of the night. The concerns of the day invaded my nighttime sanctuary. Wanting so much to escape into a world of make-believe and dreams, my pillow simply refused to turn into a cloud.

There is something so tormenting about unrest. I find myself moving through a very painful transition in my life, and as hard as I try, I cannot seem to get comfortable. Faced with the reality of changes in my own heart, and the sameness of everything that surrounds me, causes a whirlwind of confusion and pain. Feeling like I am on a roller-coaster, queasy and dizzy, I ask the Lord, "Please let me get off."

But His answer has been, "Be still."

Do you ever feel tired my friend? Tired of circumstances you can't change? Tired of the pain?

I chose this picture today, because it made me chuckle. This little kitty paints a lovely picture for those of us who depend on the Lord for our next breath. Go ahead, it's okay to rest. Plant your self face-down into God's food bowl--His Word.

You can believe it with all your heart . . . the rescue is coming.

There is no greater sanctuary.

Old Letter

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. - 1 Peter 1:3-5

As I thumbed through the old cookbook for a new recipe or two, the letter appeared nestled between the pages. Going to yard sales always promises a treasure or two, but touching a piece of history was not what I bargained for.

My friend Debbie proceeded to open the worn out piece of paper so that she could read aloud while I drove. Dark black print stamped the words of a women who sat at her typewriter over thirty-five years ago. The watermarked paper talked about the normal routine of her day. She was going to be mailing some pillows and mason jars. She talked about the kind of dog she wished she had, garbage collection, and wondered when she would be allowed to vote.

Wow.

I couldn't help but think about how his woman, who composed this message to her girlfriend all those years ago, never could have guessed that it would be picked up at a yard sale years later. While Debbie and I chuckled over the differences the past thirty or so years have made, there was also so much about us and her that were the same. Same kind of weather. Same kind of results when you are planting a tomato. Same kind of love between two friends.

The written word outlasts us all, truly able to make an impact on generation after generation. God wrote a letter too, many years back, to somebody He loves very much.

You.

We have much to learn from the Bible, a book filled with history, drama, suspense, sorrow and joy. But the best part about this letter is that it will never fade. After everything else has passed away, God's Word will remain.

It is a letter worth cherishing. If you haven't picked it up for a while, it is worth dusting off. Take a peek. Black and red letters dance on white pages, with a message of hope and redemption, for all generations to come.

Purple Kiss

He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. - Job 5:9

Some weeks back, my daughter Makayla and I were browsing around OSH. After wandering through the garden section, and passing through a rainbow of different paints, we headed to the checkout counter. To my surprise, there stood a pink plant.

"Oh Mommy, please can I get it? It would match my room perfectly."

Wanting to spruce her room up with a houseplant anyway (not that I was searching for a pink one) we decided to bring the unusual thing home. Resting on top of my old jewelry box, it has been very happy soaking in the sun right next to her window.

Yesterday, on Makayla's seventh birthday, the plant supplied us with an even bigger surprise. It was a kiss from my late Grandma Dottie, who died when Makayla was only a few months old.

"Makayla, come quick!"

Poking out from the leaves of this tiny plant were seven purple blossoms. Checking the plant each night as I closed her blinds, I could not recall seeing them there. They had not been there the day before. For some unexplainable reason, all seven decided to make an appearance on July 5.

Purple was my Grandma Dottie's favorite color.

I went on to explain to Makayla, how happy Grandma Dottie was when she was born - how she loved visiting with her and wished so much that she could have stayed longer.

"I think God sent those today Makayla, to say 'Happy Birthday' from Grandma Dottie."

Makayla's eyes grew wide, and a deep grin filled her face.

Joy rose within my heart too, as I felt a sweet connection of generations, supplied by the blossom of a simple houseplant.