Golden Years

Gray hair is a crown of splendor; ~ Proverbs 16:31a

As I sat in the sterile examination room this morning, my heart raced. I felt faint. Visiting the doctor does not always generate such anxiety. But with an imagination like mine . . . every ticking second felt like an eternity.

I tried to keep myself occupied by settling into the novel I have been chewing on for a week or so. Deep into the storyline, it was easy to escape into the lives of Lydia, Carol, Jacqueline and Alix. Their lives were in turmoil, from cancer diagnosis, to infertility, to marriage problems. The pretend drama seemed easier to cope with than the imagined drama of my own.

I heard a knock. The doctor entered the room, extending his hand. All smiles, he chatted about the weather and then proceeded to ask me about my ailment.

A lump. The one underneath my right arm. This is what brought me all the way to Modesto so early in the morning. With my nerves on edge, I took a seat on the examination table, and told myself to relax. As the doctor examined me, I don't remember speaking, or thinking . . . or even breathing.

"Nothing to worry about. It is a glandular swelling . . . it happens. Our bodies change into our thirties, forties and fifties . . . "

"Are you trying to say that I am getting old?" was my reply.

We both chuckled, and I decided that getting old isn't so bad. Even if it means fatty deposits tucked underneath my armpit. Getting older sure beats the alternative.

As I drove away this morning, I felt grateful for the free bill of health. I smiled with thoughts of God's comfort even through the week of uncertainty. If the news hadn't have been so promising, I know that God would have carried me through.

I thought about the thousands of women just like me who visited the doctor this morning - but left with an uncertain diagnosis. Somebody, somewhere heard the words "You have breast cancer." And for those women, I ached.

While I haven't found a gray hair to date, the affects of ageing are beginning to take their toll. I welcome the idea of growing old and gray. Rocking on a porch, immersed in a juicy novel and living a drama of my own?

Now that's golden.

Lazy Bones

It wasn't that I didn't want to get up this morning . . . I just couldn't. Nestled into a cocoon of comfort, I chose to ignore my alarm clock for just a few extra minutes (okay a whole hour) of bliss. Was it worth it? No, but getting myself out of that billowy haven was close to impossible.

Starting the day without my quiet time made for a rough morning. No matter how much I tried praying (while I raced out the door) nothing would replace my moments alone with God - moments that were forfeited for instant gratification. Ugh.

Now it is the middle of the afternoon, and I struggle to come up with something to post about. Morning is the best time to seize inspirational thoughts . . . while the moon still smiles down on stretching muscles and sleepy eyes. But once I hit that shower, routine takes over, bringing the day's writing pursuit to an end.

My point today, is that when there is nothing going in (a true connection with God through prayer and His Word) . . . then I don't have much to offer out.

While I know that God has still been with me throughout quite a hairy day, I recognize my need to put Him first in all things -- especially at the first part of my day.

Inspiration, wisdom . . . ministry -- true ministry is born of the Spirit. One must listen and obey in order to be used of God. Listening requires stillness.

God's whispers are best heard when it is still quiet . . . by the light of the moon.

Chase

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts . . . ~ Colossians 3:15

Ever been sent on one of these? A wild goose chase? My whole day felt like one yesterday. I was trying to grab hold of God's peace, only to find it slipping through my fingers.

We've all had them. Days where nothing seems to go right, and a pounding headache to boot, which seems to mock every decision you make. You know the kind of day that you can't wait to find an end for?

It was late afternoon, and it was all I could do to process the events of the day. With kids and a dog underneath my feet, I stepped into the door, discovering that the usual afternoon demands clamored for my attention. Homework help here, laundry there, dinner preparation, tidying up -- with soccer practice in an hour there was no hope for putting my feet up. I thought about hiding, but they would find me for sure.

After tying cleats and grabbing a couple of bottled waters, I headed out into the garage to hunt for the soccer stuff. Cones, pennies and other paraphernalia were nowhere to be found. With only about an hour before practice, and my need to get to the store for some Advil, my head spun.

The soccer stuff must be with Mark, across town at Pedretti park. Ugh!

After gathering myself and my two little ones, we piled into the van, and proceeded to the park. Ten minutes later, I found myself casing Mark's truck, only to find it empty. A walk that seemed about a half mile long brought me to my husband's side.

"It's in the garage." he said.

I didn't argue with him for long. I didn't have the energy. So, after another grunt of despair, I took an about face and headed back toward the car. Another half mile. Then proceeded to fight traffic all the way back home, to find the soccer stuff right where he claimed it to be - in the garage.

I paint this aggravating picture for one reason today. Not to vent, because I really did spend a lot of time praying it all through yesterday. I don't share it all to whine, although that would be tempting. I share it today, to illustrate a point.

Sometimes life is frustrating. We do our absolute best to get it right, and we still falter. Things beyond our control (like stupidity) spin us into an orbit of despair. But if we will let Him, Christ can be at the core, holding it all together.

As I fell into bed last night, I thanked God for helping me through the day. I was grateful for the composure I kept despite the turmoil inside. I rested in the fact that mistakes were allowed, and that it did not mean that I was a bad mom, just a human one.

Those wild geese can send even the most even tempered mom to her wit's end. But catching yourself a goose ladies, is worth the blood, sweat and tears.

The trick is to hold on to those feathers.

Team Building

Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the King. ~ 1 Peter 2:16-18

It was years ago that I began picking up these little nuggets. Bits of wisdom about the recruiting process. That God would use me to recruit anybody is still a mystery.

My neighbor Iona and I sat facing each other at her kitchen table. I had pen and paper in hand as I shot questions in her direction. I had asked her if I could practice on her, hoping to get better at this recruiting thing. I was a Mary Kay Beauty consultant all of those years ago, and after excelling in sales I wanted to take it a step further and begin building my team.

After I finished my formal interview, she said something to me that I will never forget.

"It doesn't seem like you are very excited about what you are doing."

Ouch. I remember feeling blindsided by her comment, although her honesty is just what this beauty consultant needed. As much as I had talked myself into the fact that making women feel beautiful was important to me -- the "sales" side of it was never a good fit for this heart.

Shortly after that eye-opening encounter, I decided to step away from selling Mary Kay altogether. I couldn't stand the idea of building relationships on the basis of sales. My conscience wouldn't allow it.  Being in sales is not a bad thing, many folks bring in extra income this way.  But for me, my heart could not find rest.  

Years later, as I have stepped into various leadership roles at the church, the issue of recruitment has become part of my job responsibilities once again. At first, I cringed at the thought. I had never been any good at it before, what made me think I would be any better under this new title?

But something amazing happened on the inside of this knee shaking soldier. One by one, God began building teams under my leadership. It started small, and before I knew it, God had used me to recruit a team of over twenty women. I have never for a moment felt the need to take the credit. God and I both know where the power came from.

Today I look at a dream team of women that God used me to gather for Women's Ministries. I do not say this to pat myself on the back - it really was His doing, but to share the miracle with any of you out there who might still be loathing the idea of recruiting.

I'd like to share some of the things I've learned through the years. They have brought me much success. These steps have sharpened me as a leader, and have trained me to fully depend on the Lord for team building.

1. Pray. Ask God who He wants to have join your team. Aside from helping you reach your vision, God wants to grow this individual in leaps and bounds. He wants to use you to help them take that next step.

2.Watch. Take note of individuals God brings across your path. Who has proven to be reliable? Trustworthy? Punctual and hard working?

3. Plan. Put the job description in writing so that the other person will know what is expected.

4. Approach. Time to put yourself out there. Set a date for lunch or coffee. Be honest in why you have approached this person. Give them time to think in over and pray, but set a deadline on when they should get back to you.

5. Listen. God will often times connect a need with a person ready to fill it. The trick is to be listening. This happens all the time. God can use you to bridge the gap!

Above all, believe in what you are selling -- with all your heart. If you have any hesitation about where you find yourself, do not make the mistake of inviting others to come along.

Happy recruiting, and remember . . . God will do the work through you. Step aside, and embrace the wonder of team building. Believe in yourself, and in every person He has you tap on the shoulder.

God already does.