Toast

Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. ~ Proverbs 4:7

I was asked to give a toast at my sister's wedding this summer. The idea thrilled me and scared me half out of my mind, all at the same time.

There I stood, in front of a crowd I only half knew (my sister's half), I spoke blessing and provision from the heart. Feeling unpolished and a little bit unprepared, I loved the whole experience, knowing that although I was a little bit rusty - this is what I was made for.

Stepping into a brand new world yesterday, and for the very first time, I took my seat at the Toasmaster's table. There were eight of us, all ready at a moment's notice to stand up and give a speech. I felt mesmerized, as the Toasmaster of the afternoon took the ball and ran, getting everybody to participate - even the guest, which happened to be yours truly. It was a solid hour of adrenaline, and I couldn't have had more fun.

Pursuing a writing a speaking ministry is what landed me in that chair yesterday afternoon. I've always held on to the dream of speaking in front of large crowds -- and to discover that there is a club that polishes those skills seemed out of this world! People very different from me, from all walks of life, sharing the same goal. To know what you want to say, and to deliver it with clarity and class. Wow.

Formality and structure carried our meeting, allowing much to be accomplished. As a guest, I was treated with kindness, but was expected to jump right in. Challenge being the catalyst to the group, I learned early on that this was no spectator sport. I was up for the challenge, and felt very comfortable jumping right in.

I truly believe that every person God has created, has been given a sweet spot. There is something each of us has been given to accomplish here on earth - something that we have been gifted in - something that we lose track of time doing.

What is that one thing for you? Maybe you enjoy gardening, taking care of children or typing in numbers. Do you lose track of time while drawing, chatting with a friend or cooking for your family?

For me, it is speaking and writing. I don't really know why God has put this burning desire in my heart to impart truth to others, but I am honored that He has. I can't be certain that I know what will come of this Toastmaster's membership. It may never go further than a group of eight . . . and that would be okay.

A room with a handful of people ready to listen, people to pour into, seeds to plant. I have so much still to learn, and I look forward to seeing what every member will teach me. What joy. Who would have thought that a group that makes such a big deal about a piece of toast would be just my kind of thing?

I encourage you today. If you have been able to pinpoint that sweet spot inside of you - pursuit it wholeheartedly! It may cost you everything, but selling out should never be an option.

I end today with a toast. To all of those dreamers out there - as you reach for the stars . . .

Make God your pursuit.

Mush

Do not think of yourselves more highly than you ought . . . ~ Romans 12:3b

I was responsible for a recipe gone wrong. Everybody knew it. Especially the potato salad maker.

It was a lazy summer afternoon. Our family had been invited over to a special writer friend's house for a BBQ. Kids were encouraged to bring their swim gear, while parents signed up to bring a dish.

What could I bring? I thought. I want to really dazzle them with something that will minister to their tummies and bless their hearts. I know . . . my potato salad will be just the thing!

A five pound bag of potatoes later, I stood in my kitchen, mixing the final ingredients. Egg, mayonnaise, mustard, dill weed, pickles, a touch of salt . . . I carefully placed the glop into one of my finest bowls, and sprinkled the last bit of paprika on for color.

Later on, while the adults spent time chewing the fat, the kids were enjoying the pool. It was time for dinner. After drying the kids off, we formed a single line around the kitchen island. Everybody's contribution to the meal brought great anticipation. Hot dogs and chicken, garlic bread, pretzel salad. My potato salad stood smack dab in the middle. If there were a trophy for beauty, I would have taken first.

I got my plate, and chose a seat on the picnic bench. What happened next was devastating. Cutting into my meat . . . yummy. A bite of bread . . . delicious. Then, I brought my own masterpiece up to my mouth, and with a bite of regret I forced the swallow.

My potato salad was terrible. I knew it. Everybody else knew it too. My mind scrambled for an answer. Was it the fact that I tried to double the recipe? Were the potatoes bad? Not enough mustard?

Emotions flooded me, but I continued to force a smile. I hated to disappoint my new friends, and more than anything else to be known as such a terrible cook.

I chose not to say anything about the potato salad that day. I did not want anybody to feel the need to lie and tell me that it was good. Silly as it may sound, I felt like the potato salad reflected on me. Looking pretty good on the outside most of the time, these folks are soon going to see that underneath the garnish is a tasteless scoop of mush.

Every felt like a bland bowl of salad? Do you err on the side of performance like I do? Thinking that what you do or don't do dictates your worth?

My bout with potatoes that day taught me an important lesson about identity. My salad may have been a flop, but the disaster did not determine my worth. God allowed my recipe to take a dive, to point several unhealthy patterns of thinking out. People pleasing does not contribute to an solid sense of self worth. Ministering to others is one thing. Having to get it perfect can be quite another.

I encourage you today to chalk up your own failures to God's view of success. The Lord detests pride of any kind, even the potato salad kind. Do not think more highly of yourself than you ought. Let the love of the Lord, and not a bowl of starch dictate every thought you have about yourself.

And when your own potato salad trophy (pride) rears it's ugly head, force a smile and swallow, knowing that humiliation cann be one of the Lord's greatest gifts.

Knot

Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. ~ 1 Peter 5:7

Being pulled in a hundred different directions is bound to tie a person in knots. Ever been there? The demands of the day can become pretty heavy, especially when we try to carry the load all by ourselves.

It was a typical Monday morning. A stack of white cards decorated my desk, just waiting for my attention. Between phone calls and other interruptions, I began to type each plea, one at a time. Questions, suggestions, prayer requests all stacked a mile high. Each one representing one family, one individual - one heart.

As my fingers danced across the keyboard to articulate every person's petition, my brow began to furrow and my stomach got tight. Cancer diagnosis, families separating, job loss, broken relationships and broken hearts. With every request my heart got heavier and heavier, until it hit the bottom of an ocean of sadness - like a stone.

Hardened. This is one way I sometimes cope with exposure to such sadness. Wanting to turn my emotions off and become a robot, I choose not to let it in. I can't, it is just too much. But as stubborn as this girl can be, God still allows little chinks in my self-made armor to wear me down, all for the sake of accomplishing one purpose.

That of prayer.

On days like Monday, I need to cast EVERY care on Him. My arm may get sore after I've thrown number ninety-nine, but God's shoulders are broad enough to carry a world's worth of sadness and sin.

The strains of life can tie even the most even keeled person into a ball of mush. Life is hard. Sadness is a part of the journey, but we don't have to go it alone. There is something magnificent that God has given us to do in the face of our storm.

God can move a mountain full of mountains -- through you.

Let God untangle the mess life has thrown your way. He is able. God cares about the things that concern you

. . . more than you'll ever know.

Winning Goal

. . . if it is leadership, let him govern diligently, ~ Romans 12:8b

All eighteen eyeballs were fixed on me. Fidgety little bodies, geared up for the game ahead. I sat on the bag that held goalie gloves to keep my pants from soaking through.

Struggling to find words, I worked to keep their attention. We talked about game strategies, Halloween costumes, grandma and grandpa's . . . I felt awkward and out of place. Loving on a bunch of kids shouldn't be so hard, should it? When my focus is on me instead of Christ, every attempt at leadership is an un-scorable goal.

Taking the place of a servant through ministry several years ago, God decided to promote me to leadership. Me. I sent this question heavenward often, "Are you sure Lord?" Going from nursery helper, to classroom leader, to nursery supervisor was quite an experience. Being "in charge" of anything kept me on my face before Him.

After a year or so, I was given the opportunity to lead the Crisis Care ministry. This proved to be a wild ride of obedience and surrender, from the moment I came on, till the season came when it was time to step away.

Next, I was on to Women's Ministries Director, something I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around. There were many days I just couldn't figure out for the life of me how I got there.

So why would a seasoned leader be afraid of a handful of four and five year olds? A couple of reasons come to mind. One is comparison. My cousin Jodie is awesome with the kids. She has a natural knack for getting them to listen. Her instructions are clear and oozing with love.

But for this particular game, Jodie wasn't there. Being coach's assistant, all eyes fell on me. Following in her footsteps felt a little bit intimidating. But as the game wore on, I decided to embrace the soccer coach God put on the inside of me - different from Jodie, but still okay.

Comparison kills. I would venture to say that it is the leading cause of death among ministry, especially for those God calls into leadership. When we are given the privilege of leading a group, so much of our hearts and souls get deposited. For people who have had their hearts squashed through the years, putting yourself out there can be a terrifying thing.

Saturday's game taught me a lot. As the rain came pouring down in the second half, I felt proud of the team that had been entrusted to me. With one injury, lots untied shoes and four goals, the purple team (otherwise known as the Sharks) had much to celebrate.

Every player from sweeper to goalie had been challenged to take a step outside of their comfort zone - all for the sake of the team. Same was true for this group's fearless leader. Working to acquire the fancy footwork of leadership, I welcome opportunities to be in charge, all for the sake of shinning God's light.

While acquiring leadership skills and being confident of your calling are important, shooting for love should always be every leader's greatest aim.