Bridal Shower

Arrangements of pink and white flood my thoughts as the day comes to an end. Between stocking the ice and serving cake today, I watched my little sister take a giant step toward womanhood. Soon, she will become a bride.

All of the wonder of sisterhood gets magnified through landmarks such as these. There have been many "firsts" for me and Karin through the years. First boyfriends, first kisses -- but nothing tops the preparation of a wedding.

Fourteen years ago, my little sister watched as I took the spotlight. As I was showered with gifts and dressed in white, Karin gracefully took her place by my side as a bridesmaid. Being only 18 at the time, she was nowhere near ready to walk in my glass slippers. But through the years, and with much heartache, there has always been the hope of such.

With ring in hand and a pumpkin stagecoach, my sister's prince charming has finally arrived. Today, I got to watch her shine. Gifts poured in. Things from bedsheets to salad bowls arrived, sent to celebrate Karin and Brent's new life together. I felt a twinge of envy, not because she was in the spotlight, but for the sweetness of a new beginning. You only get one. And as I recorded who the gifts were coming from, I knew I was sharing something monumental.

As mothers and aunts, grandmas and sisters gathered for the celebration of my sister's new life, I discovered something remarkable about getting to watch from the sideline. As a spectator, I had a better view of the miracle. I lived vicariously through my little sister today, as roles reversed and I became the quiet servant.

My heart aches with joy at the thought of her glow. My little sister - a bride to be . . . I couldn't be prouder. This day was a shower of blessings.

Decisions, Decisions

They come in all shapes and sizes. One moment you make one that is off the cuff, while the next one proves life altering. Decisions. They form our path, and tell this world who we are, and why we are.

Faced every day with several forks in the road, it is sometimes difficult to discern the correct path. Wanting to follow God and glorify Him, we stumble through a mix of victories and blunders. Making a decision about something, and having the courage to stay the course without looking back takes a lot of mind muscle. I can, at times, be tormented by the "what ifs." Regret has proven to be the worst kind of cancer.

I'll share my most recent road sign experience with you. I was headed in a certain direction yesterday. I had taken some time to pray it through, and it seemed like packing up the car and heading for the bay area was the "right" decision. My Grandpa John would be having open heart surgery the next day, and I wanted to offer my support through a visit. Bags were packed, kids pick-up arranged. I even planned on taking a day off of work in the middle of the week. As my mind rested on the mountains that lie ahead, a phone call sent the unexpected U-Turn.

"Grandpa doesn't want any visitors." What? You mean there is no reason for me to keep driving? All of this preparation was . . . . for nothing?

I tucked my tail between my legs, and with a wave of emotion turned the car around. I felt rejected, and wondered if I had missed God's instruction. Landing in my husband's arms a half an hour later was the perfect place to sort thoughts through. My Grandpa's decision to send me back home wasn't personal. It was his way of dealing with the anxiety. It was his decision.

So, I wondered, did I hear from God in the first place? I believe I did. I can't say that I understand why God sends us twists and u-turns in life. All we can do is work to make the best decisions we can, knowing that our view is limited. I trust that God was protecting me yesterday - from what? I may never know. But He promises to direct my steps.

Of all the shaky decisions we make on a daily basis, there is one thing we can be certain of. God is in control, and able to send the road block when we need it. The trick is to trust when we don't understand.

The decision is faith.

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. ~ Proverbs 19:21

MIracles

I thank God for my handicaps, for, through them, I have found myself, my work, and my God. - Helen Keller

Hurts, habits and hang-ups. We all have them to one degree or another. Our sermon series, LIFE RECOVERY, has touched on the many ways that imperfect people get stuck. Striving for perfection here on earth can leave many folks feeling like they've gotten the short end of the stick.

Something I have been learning about myself lately, is that I like the feeling of being in control. Okay, let me be a little bit more specific. If I feel out of control, in any area of my life, then I start to fray. What does that say about my habits and hang-ups? Well, lets just say that I have more than a few.

There are places in my own journey that have proven to be a real struggle; things about myself and others that I would change if I could. I sometimes seem to hit the same wall over and over again, wondering when God will grant me the strength to scale it. These are not quick fix situations, like something as bothersome as a hangnail. I am talking about deep wounds and the defeating behavior they carry.

Helen Keller is a perfect example of the beauty God can bring from pain. She lived a life of silent darkness, yet managed to shine despite her many handicaps. I'm sure there were things about her existence that she would have changed, but then again maybe not. Helen's obstacles became the very things that connected her to the world -- beyond a seeming solitary confinement.

What do your handicaps look like? They come in many forms. Some of us carry hurts that can be seen, while others hold hidden pain. How are you handling the places where you feel stuck? Does being out of control feel like torture to you too?

There is something so sweet about those places that never seem to make it all the way to the other side of healing. God can heal in an instant, and sometimes He chooses to. Other times God will grow us in character by withholding that quick fix. It is our dependence on God that cultivates an awareness of Him.

As I trudge through those dark and silent wheelchairs in my own life, beneath the brokenness of my heart -- there is a smile. God works miracles when a situations seem hopeless. Helen Keller is one example of many.

What will your miracle look like? Hold on . . . the darkness is temporary. It holds no real power.