Rust

You shall not make for yourself an idol, in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them;
~ Exodus 20:4

So many of life's details try and come between myself and my God. Most of the time I am not really even aware of this happening. And like dirt that begins to collect in the grout of my heart - one day I am suddenly aware of my neglect.

I use the dirty bathroom parallel, because it seems to fit the inside as well as the outside today. While getting myself ready this morning, I was horrified to see how much dirt has been collecting. I clean my bathrooms (and my house) every week. I wipe down the counters, scrub my toilets, Windex the mirrors and sweep and mop the floors. I douse the shower with some bleach spray, and things are good to go.

But after a while, I notice that the surface cleaning is just not enough - I need to devote myself to some deep cleaning. Hair spray glues dirt particles to the lip of the mirror. Grout turns from white to brown, after dust sets in. Mildew threatens to take permanent residence in our shower, and toothpaste stains the drain in the sink.

Having this eye-opening experience makes me want to set everything else aside to go scrub. Okay, what sounds so difficult about that? Well, here's the thing. The bathroom is only one of many rooms that has not been given a deep cleaning in a while. There are places on my walls that need to be touched up with paint. The playroom needs to be cleaned out, so that we can make room for Christmas toys. I've got the itch to clean out drawers and scrub cabinets . . . all of which tends to throw me into a cleaning frenzy.

This morning God was showing me a particular area of my heart that I have given over to an idol. This is not an easy thing to look at. Like the dirt that clings to my walls and invades my sparkle, it is something that has moved in subtly and unnoticed.

But today, God turned the spotlight on to the dirt in my heart, exposing every crack and crevice. Yikes!! As I find myself surrounded by a household project or two, my heart is also due for an oil check of sorts. Through this sanctification process, God wants to tune things up a bit, making sure my thoughts and motives are worthy of His white glove.

So where could you use a little bit of cleaning today? Is there a negative thought pattern you have put up with? Maybe you have a bad habit you've been determined to break, or you've gotten so used to the clutter that you don't even notice it anymore.

Wherever you are, however messy it is on the inside - you can believe that no amount of cobwebs are going to chase God away. He lowered Himself, to the point of dying on a cross - for you. There is nothing that you've done, nothing that you have neglected that would cause Him to push you away.

God's place is first . . . above anything that can be seen, heard, felt or touched. As I wonder how in the world I am going to find time to get these new projects in my home accomplished, I rest knowing that it isn't so much about the work - it is about abiding in Him. God is far more concerned about the rusty hinges on the inside of my heart than He is about what can be seen.

I know that if I put my relationship with God above everything else, that in due time, the anointing oil of the Holy Spirit will be faithful to take care of the rust.

Behold

Not a lot of time to write. I have a living room full of my favorite people gathering near the fire with a bag of popcorn fresh out of the microwave.

We just came from church a few minutes ago, where we were able to "Behold the Lamb". I hope to write a little bit more about the impact this performance has made on me . . . I have never EVER seen anything quite like it. I was awestruck, as talent and heart came together in one incredible rendition. To say that it was enjoyable would be a gross understatement.

That little Baby born in a manger . . .

Thanks to the unbelievable talent of Andrew Peterson, not to mention some of the amazing musicians from our very own church Body - I see God's story a little bit clearer this cold wintry night.

Not with my eyes, nor my ears - but with my heart.

Darts

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." ~ Zephaniah 3:17

This week I discovered something pretty profound about myself. They began darting in from every direction, hitting wounded and vulnerable pockets of my heart. It is not very noticeable on the surface, in fact, I doubt that many people know this about me. I mean after all, I have been pretty good at looking like I have everything together. I should be pretty good at it by now . . . it has been a practice of mine practically my whole life.

Insecurity. It creeps in like a bad odor, just waiting to pounce when I least expect it. Finding out that I have become pretty much of a of people pleaser, I dug a little bit further to discover that there is a very deep seeded lie that I have believed for years. This lie is a tape that plays over and over in my head. It has become so much a part of my consciousness, that I rarely even notice it anymore.

Here is the lie that I have been believing for as long as I can remember. There are others, but this is by far the most devastating blow of all.

"You are not liked . . . everyone you meet . . . everyone who knows you - they don't like you. You could try to win their affection, but nothing you do will ever make you good enough . . . you will never be worthy of love."

Pretty rotten, huh? I have to wonder what in the world happened to me to make me think something like this. God had me take a look at this square in the face last night. What is even more disturbing, is that this whole concept will a lot of times come between me and my relationship with God. I will sometimes believe the same thing about His affections for me. Part of me wonders when the lightning is going to strike - when God will finally give up and walk away. After all, He does just tolerate me anyway, right?

Am I alone in this? Is there anybody else out there who struggles with self worth and the idea of grace? I think my greatest fear of all is rejection . . . and in looking at my behavior, I think I do just about anything to avoid it.

God's Word can be such a powerful Sword for situations like mine. I trust that God has allowed me to see the depravity of my mind . . . so that He can transform it with the Truth.

Just think, He delights in me . . . ME . . . and you too. He even rejoices over us with singing! Now that sounds to me like a notch or two up from simply tolerating.

My prayer for myself and all of you who struggle with self esteem issues is this:

Lord may we see ourselves as you do. You command us to love. Give us the grace to love as you do - unconditionally, without end . . . especially when it comes to that person we find staring back in the mirror.

Rule

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ~ Colossians 3:15

This verse is very fitting for me today, as peace seems elusive. Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel a little bit off kilter? I can't really say that there is anything wrong per se, but at the same time I feel as though I could cry forever.

I never really feel comfortable in my own skin on days like these. I am not sure how I fit, I am not sure if I am making any sense, or how I am relating to others. Is what I am saying sounding really stupid? Is my silence rude, or something to be ridiculed? I'm not really too sure why my feelings seems to be hanging off my sleeve like an open wound this beautiful afternoon. Hormones may be playing a part, or maybe it has something to do with lack of sleep. Trying to figure out the reason for this moment of insanity only makes me dizzy inside, so instead I choose to rest.

Letting the peace of Christ rule in my heart simply means letting go. I don't have to have all of the answers, I don't have to be understood and liked by everyone I come into contact with today. God knows who is behind the smile and garbled speech - even better than I do . . . and He loves me just the same.

"Let the peace of Christ rule" . . . it doesn't say force the peace of Christ or make it happen by sheer determination, it says "let" or allow. God's peace can move in only when I am willing to step aside. My eyes need to be taken off of myself and my circumstances, to be fixed on Him. This verse fits well for insecure afternoons such as these, where I just want to crawl into His lap, and pour my heart out. Lil' ol me, with all of the confusing entanglement in tow.

My jumbled emotions may end up getting the best of me today. But make no mistake, by the end of the day, the peace that loving Christ affords - will rule.

Bark

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
~ 1 John 4:4

Today I am thankful for our dog Ginger. I took her in today to get her fixed - no puppies for this house. We've already got three of them running around, all looking a lot like Mark. Hmmm . . .

After dropping Ginger off early this morning, I have been thinking about her off and on all day. I wondered how she was doing and if everything was going okay. Finally at around 2pm I picked up the phone to call the vet. It was very reassuring to hear that surgery went well, and that she was recovering nicely. I look forward to picking her up in an hour or so.

I guess you can say that I am an animal person. During my growing up years, we always had a couple of dogs and a cat or two. One was even my very own - Barney, an over sized Sheltie that was a result of one of our mama dog's litters. I loved my Barney boy. He and I got pretty well acquainted through the years. I took him to obedience school and trained him myself. We even participated in a dog show or two. I still have a second place prize sitting in our curio cabinet.

Barney and I went through a lot together. Just like most of our animals growing up, Barney was hit by a car. We lived on a pretty busy street, and for some reason or another, our animals would always get out. I remember coming home from the skate arena one afternoon, to find out that Barney was in the dog hospital. I was devastated. Fortunately, he only suffered a broken leg, and was able to come home after a day or so. His leg was never the same after that.

Then there was Patches, the most beautiful Calico cat anyone has ever seen. She had bright eyes, and was about as sweet as could be. I was so attached to that cat. Her tragic passing was my first experience with death. One morning on the way to summer drama, I saw her lifeless body laying on the curb, filled with ants. I was crushed, I think I cried off and on for a whole month.

Then there was Dooh Dah, a white Himalayan cat who was also squashed by a car (and I saw that one happen). The driver of the car got out and proceeded to kick her after running her over. Needless to say, I was pretty traumatised.

Then Sammy, my ten year old miniature pincher decided to run away and never come back. And my last heartbreak was a 20 year old cat named Kiwi. I held her paws and stroked her head as she left this world. It was really amazing . . . I literally watched her soul leave her body.

So as I thought about Ginger today, I knew that anything could happen. I was really hoping that everything would turn out okay, for the kid's sake and for mine - but I found myself holding her loosely. Maybe it has to do with all of the pet heartache I have had to endure. But I've gotta say, that with each companion, the journey (even the bitter ends) have all been worth it.

You may wonder what this has to do with my memory verse for the day -- and well, I really couldn't tell you. What I can say, is that God has healed every single one of those devastating blows for me. Some people might bark about such drama, but when you are an animal person, there is something really special about the connection that is made with your pet.

Greater is God than the pain I have had to endure. Because as far as my furry friends go, the good memories outweigh the traumatic ones. I am an overcomer through these and other painful tragedies in my life for one reason, and one reason alone.

As His child, I was covered through every smile and tear. He is the Healer of My Heart . . . the One who holds it all.

Our Side

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? ~ Romans 8:31

I am thankful today for God's covering. I look around, and there is pain and tragedy in every corner. I hear of people who are down and out with their finances, unable to find work. Families who are homeless, trying to stay warm and clothed. I see the devastating pain some carry due to other people's choices. And then there are the burdensome loads brought on by circumstances.

I found myself having a pretty good reason to get depressed today. Let's face it, this world is going down the toilet. Sin rules in so many hearts . . . love gets lost in words of hate. There are broken bones, unhealed wounds and shattered hearts - just to name a few.

Then there are the petty little annoyances, like this morning. My alarm didn't go off today. I could have sworn that I set it last night. At 7am my eyes opened up, and in a panic, I discovered that I was crawling out of bed one hour late. God miraculously got me out the door on time (minus about five or ten minutes), but I really could have done without the drama.

We get cut off in traffic, dinner burns and the customer support department we have been trying to reach for weeks continues to have a busy phone line. This is life - life on the planet earth. Inconvenienced, put out and trampled on . . . yes, this is the fate of human existence - at least from what can be seen.

The greatest part about inviting God to live on the inside of us, is that among an abundance of gifts, He offers us His perspective on things. Yes, life is difficult, we live in a fallen world. Nobody said that things would be easy, so why does it strangely feel like we are getting a raw deal?

Our hearts have been set for eternity. We want people to live forever, because we were made for such. We desire complete and total healing, because we are able to live in fullness without the obstruction of pain. We long for Leave it to Beaver and Brady Bunch (a little confession of mine) because life as we know it really isn't the end of the story.

As we move through the Monday through Sunday's of life, God wants to use every obstacle to prepare us for a better place. We are in preparation for eternity, where there will be no more tears . . . no more death.

If God is for us, who can be against us? We have a choice dear friend. We can either choose to let the sad parts of life bring us down, or we can turn our face towards the sky in patience praise. We can trust that God knows what He is doing - He has a wonderful plan. Unfortunately, the scrapes and the bruises just happen to be a part of it.

So are you feeling depressed now? It's okay to be real with your feelings - you can speak with God openly. He will always listen. And when you are exhausted after beating his chest and crying your eyes out, He will still be there.

Whatever you are going through today, be encouraged to know that God is on your side. With every one of your disappointments, every weary and sorrowful tear - He drops one of His very own.

Indwelling

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him, will not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. ~ John 3:16,17

I am thankful today for God's grace. Truly, I should not be alive because of some of the choices I've made. God has drew me out of some pretty deep waters. He has set my feet upon a Rock . . . that Rock is Jesus.

I started reading an amazing book yesterday called "The Monday Morning Church". I have not been affected by a book this way in a really long time (with the exception of the Bible). There is a Holy Spirit anointing on this piece of work - revealing the heart of God and our responsibility as His disciples.

This book by Jerry Cook begins by taking a look at three of the ways that God has chosen to reveal Himself. First, we have the God of the Old Testament. With a large booming voice, he reveals Himself in a cloud or through the consuming fire of sacrifices. Only a select few were chosen to talk to God. And the idea of an encounter with God brought much fear to man. I don't see much about grace in these scenes . . . but that is what makes the next chapter to sweet. The Old Testament picture of God has me on my face in reverential awe.

Second, we see the tenderness of God in that sweet baby born to Mary. There is nothing threatening about a baby, and God chose to send Jesus this way to initiate the connection He desired all along - relationship. Imagine this, the King of all Kings, and Lord of Lords did not come to be served . . . wait a minute, think about that for a moment. Aren't kings supposed to be served? No, not this One . . . He came to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

Third, God has manifest Himself in believers all over the world through the Holy Spirit. The first century church operated very much in the prompting and the empowerment of the One who filled them. That same Spirit (and manifestation of God) lives inside of you and me today! God chooses the weak and the foolish things to shame the wise. He wants to reveal Himself to this world through ordinary people just like you and me. 2 Chronicles 16:9 says, "For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." What would God see if He visited your neck of the woods?

I've only read up to page 55 of this book but I've gotta tell you, there is something that has really caught my attention. If you've read Love Acceptance and Forgiveness, you will want to pick this one up too. It is the sequel.

For those of you who have read the first one, I have no doubts that your perspective has already been altered. In order for us to really operate in love, acceptance and forgiveness, we need to have confidence, courage and trust. That is what this second book talks about. So far, it has awakened my awareness of the continual presence of God . . . something I long for every moment.

Be encouraged today to know that God has the most amazing purpose for your life. You have been called to love Him and others. Your continual heart and attitude can be just like Jesus . . . as you carry around the following question. "What can I do for you?" Be ready with this kind of artillery, and God will present you with plenty of opportunities to shine for Him.

God so loved the world . . . he came as a little baby, to save the world from the separation of sin. The God who swallowed soldiers with the sea, and burned entire cities . . . leaving only a remnant few - He is also the God who sacrificed His own Son.

. . . Not to condemn - but to save.