Winning Goal

. . . if it is leadership, let him govern diligently, ~ Romans 12:8b

All eighteen eyeballs were fixed on me. Fidgety little bodies, geared up for the game ahead. I sat on the bag that held goalie gloves to keep my pants from soaking through.

Struggling to find words, I worked to keep their attention. We talked about game strategies, Halloween costumes, grandma and grandpa's . . . I felt awkward and out of place. Loving on a bunch of kids shouldn't be so hard, should it? When my focus is on me instead of Christ, every attempt at leadership is an un-scorable goal.

Taking the place of a servant through ministry several years ago, God decided to promote me to leadership. Me. I sent this question heavenward often, "Are you sure Lord?" Going from nursery helper, to classroom leader, to nursery supervisor was quite an experience. Being "in charge" of anything kept me on my face before Him.

After a year or so, I was given the opportunity to lead the Crisis Care ministry. This proved to be a wild ride of obedience and surrender, from the moment I came on, till the season came when it was time to step away.

Next, I was on to Women's Ministries Director, something I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around. There were many days I just couldn't figure out for the life of me how I got there.

So why would a seasoned leader be afraid of a handful of four and five year olds? A couple of reasons come to mind. One is comparison. My cousin Jodie is awesome with the kids. She has a natural knack for getting them to listen. Her instructions are clear and oozing with love.

But for this particular game, Jodie wasn't there. Being coach's assistant, all eyes fell on me. Following in her footsteps felt a little bit intimidating. But as the game wore on, I decided to embrace the soccer coach God put on the inside of me - different from Jodie, but still okay.

Comparison kills. I would venture to say that it is the leading cause of death among ministry, especially for those God calls into leadership. When we are given the privilege of leading a group, so much of our hearts and souls get deposited. For people who have had their hearts squashed through the years, putting yourself out there can be a terrifying thing.

Saturday's game taught me a lot. As the rain came pouring down in the second half, I felt proud of the team that had been entrusted to me. With one injury, lots untied shoes and four goals, the purple team (otherwise known as the Sharks) had much to celebrate.

Every player from sweeper to goalie had been challenged to take a step outside of their comfort zone - all for the sake of the team. Same was true for this group's fearless leader. Working to acquire the fancy footwork of leadership, I welcome opportunities to be in charge, all for the sake of shinning God's light.

While acquiring leadership skills and being confident of your calling are important, shooting for love should always be every leader's greatest aim.