Bedtime

It's been a long day, and I am tuckered out. After posting I plan on taking a nice hot bath, and then I'll hit the hay. I love bedtime.

I can remember as a kid I used to grumble with the thought of bedtime. Like a dark cloud moving forward through the day, I knew that at the end of every evening I would be sent to my room alone for sleepy time. It was never something I looked forward to.

I was always so afraid when I was a kid. I can remember being nervous about what might be under my bed, or lurking in the closet. I used to have pretty tormenting images flash through my mind, and some really terrifying nightmares growing up.

I have memories of actively protesting this whole bedtime thing. I never kicked and screamed mind you. But after my parents tucked me neatly into the covers I would cleverly climb out and sit in the hallway. I would stay there for a really long time, watching my parents watch TV. I could never really see them, but I was able to catch a glimpse of the living room where I sat, and that brought enough comfort for me.

I did not grow up in a Christian home, and thinking back there really was no trace of the Holy Spirit's presence. There was always an uneasiness that followed me around into every room. And that heaviness was carried right out the door with me. As a child I was so shy and insecure, afraid of everything and socially inept. Still today some of those old feelings will try and creep back in.

Back to bedtime and the present day. My own kids are tucked in neatly, feeling safe and secure. I know that the Holy Spirit watches over this home, and I am so grateful to be able to discern the difference.

I never really thought about it before, but my kids don't ever seem spooked like my sister and I were. Her and I would literally run for our lives out of the back bedroom after getting something we wanted to play with. For years it was the playroom. There was just something about that room that scared the be jabbers out of us. Even as an adult I felt unsettled in there.

Living without God for so many years makes me appreciate His presence today. There is something so sweet about heaven's reassurance. These days I know that the King of Kings has got my back . . . even while I sleep.