Sixteen

With the start of the new school year, I found myself hitting the wall of stress yesterday afternoon. I rested next to Mark last night after the kids had finally gone to bed. My face was washed, my teeth were brushed, and my chapter read . . . I was ready to call it a night.

As my head hit the pillow, my eyes may have closed, but my heart and mind continued to race. With the kids starting back on their routines, and with me jumping back into ministry - well, let's just say that there has been plenty to do.

I've tried to continue in my "off for the month" mode as far as my spirit goes. Sending a breath prayer up here and there, talking with God about my attitude and some hurts . . . these are the ways God and I enjoy spending time together. We had a really good meander through the month of July. Long walks, the discovery of blogging, a visit to my Mom's . . . and the lazy list goes on. I didn't have to worry about making lunches for school, finding soccer cleats or figuring out how to face a confrontational situation.

Don't get me wrong, I love order, structure and routine. I function better when we are on time and everything is in it's place. Being a wife and a mommy really is my favorite job in the whole wide world. It is the most difficult call - much like running a large corporation. Don't knock the intricacy of keeping tummies fed and boo-boos kissed.

I also feel very much called to ministry. Seeing other people reach their full potential in Christ really gets my juices flowing!!

But with routine, comes added responsibility . . . and hence, the stress. I have a habit of carrying more than God ever intended. I carried a pretty heavy load on the way to bed last night, but my Loving Father rescued me in the dark of the night.

My eyes opened, I was wide awake. The clock said 3:05am, and I knew that the Lord wanted me to get up. I grabbed my blanket, and headed for the living room. The light was so bright when I turned it on, but illumination is what this heart longed for.

I began reading Scripture. A dear friend recently directed me to 2 Kings 18 and 19. It is the story of Hezekiah's prayer - and God's answer. The angel of the Lord destroyed 185,000 people that night. I think it's safe to say that God lifted a pretty big burden.

Then I grabbed my prayer journal, and began writing about each and every concern I had. There ended up being 16 major concerns . . . no wonder it felt so heavy! Sure, I may have prayed about these before, but this morning was different. This time, as I wrote them down, I decided to leave each and every concern at His feet. I literally felt each burden lift as the ink ran.

16 worries, 16 heartaches, 16 potential disasters - no, not on this bright morning.

Instead I choose to see the destruction of 185,000 enemies . . . with the expectation of 16 miracles.