Birthday

It's my Birthday today. I used to keep quiet about such an occasion, for the sake of NEVER wanting to make anybody feel like they need to respond with gift and song. But today, I feel like celebrating! I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death (quite a few times in my life), and it is a blessing to still be kicking!

They say that a woman is not supposed to tell her age. It's fun to keep it a mystery - just one conversation with me and anybody could see that I don't ACT my age (whatever that age might be). My Grandma Dottie used to say, "You are only as old as you feel." She lived a beautiful full life, always grateful and eager to take life in. It seemed like the older she got, the more like a child her heart became.

I share this Birthday with a very special friend today, and to him, I send a wink! Only really cool people are born on May 19. It's common knowledge you know.

God has put a celebration in my step and a song in my heart. "Happy Birthday to me" will be the tune, as I worship God on this blessed day.

Six Weeks

Nobody appreciates wellness until they've walked an ill mile.

My six week post-op appointment was this afternoon. I sighed with the thought of another exam. You would think that after having three babies, two major surgeries and kidney stones three different times, that this would be a piece of cake.

It was an appointment to remember. Aside from checking things over, my doctor sent me away with a clean bill of health. There will be no more hormone injections for the time being, surgeries are kept at bay and I won't have to see my doctor until next year. Wow! It felt like I was given a get out of jail free card.

As I drove away from the medical building and past the hospital, I felt so grateful to God for carrying me through yet another storm. I peeked at the window of my third floor hospital room, and wondered who resided. Was it a child? A grown-up? Were they ill or just out of surgery? Can they feel God's presence? He IS there.

Pulling out of the driveway, I spotted a man smoking a cigarette outside of the hospital's entrance. He was dressed in one of those wonderful gowns. An IV stood by. Our eyes met, and in that moment I realized exactly what I had been delivered from.

I will never be able to say it enough. Health is a gift. Every single breath, every bite of food that digests, every rested night - it is all a precious gift. I prayed for that man as I drove away into freedom this afternoon, wondering what ailed his broken body.

I couldn't help but wonder what treasure awaited that man, and every patient in that hospital. It takes a trained eye to see the sparkle.

Lord, help them find you.

Timing

There is never a wrong time to do the right thing.

I've decided to start sprinkling quotes into my posts. Aspiring to really take this writing thing seriously, I picked up a book called "Worth Repeating" months ago. It is filled with more than 5,000 classic and contemporary quotes. I am always up for a literary challenge. This should be a good one.

The quote above was sent to me in a letter some months ago. The sentence must have grabbed me, because it rests neatly typed on my bulletin board. It is a great reminder that when God says to move, it's time to start stepping.

God has taken me to may crossroads where I have had a decision to make. Will I do what feels good, what seems right or what other people are expecting ? Or will I do the right thing? Ever been there? If you've spent any length of time following Jesus, you know that what He requires anything but predictable. You can forget any kind of a plan, and if you are hoping for a safety net, you might as well turn back. There are no guarantees, there is no safety net - except, of course, the promises in His Word. I can assure you, they are more than enough.

Why do you think it is so important for Christians to do the right thing? Is it because we will be damned to hell for the slightest mistake? We know that God offers forgiveness that is immediate and complete for times when we blow it. All we have to do is ask. Is it because we are supposed to try and appear perfect to the world? We know that perfection is impossible, not to mention the fact that nobody can really relate to a person who seems to "have it all together."

So what is the reason for integrity? I think that there are many reasons, but only one draws us closer to Him. God will ask us to do the right thing at a seemingly wrong time for one simple reason -- to test us. Do we really believe that we have heard from God? Will we obey the voice, or simply shrug it off? Is it worth the cost? (There is always a cost - and when God calls, more times than not the cost is your life.)

So where do you find yourself in the "Do the Right Thing" spectrum? Is there something you have been putting off for the sake of waiting for the perfect time? Spend some time in prayer and see if God would have you put if off. Discernment is important when you are dealing with relationships and circumstances. Timing can be crucial. But if you've been sitting on your hands, avoiding the situation altogether, the time is now. Take a stand.

There is never a wrong time to do the right thing. Don't wait. For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. (2 Chronicles 16:9) God's love is poured out through ordinary men and women who will listen to His voice, and do what's right.

(By the way, my "right thing" has to do with the picture I've posted today. I'll leave you with that hint.)

Zoo Life

Lions and tigers . . . . and a flamingo, oh my!

Yesterday was quite an adventure - a safari of sorts if you will. Two school buses boarded dozens of little bodies. Teachers counted, parents waved their good-byes and we headed out of the parking lot. Makayla's kindergarten class was headed for the zoo. Makayla's kindergarten class was the zoo.

We arrived just before eleven, sporting sack lunches and an appetite for wildlife. After chocking down peanut butter and jelly, and using the bathroom one more time, we entered the park in single file. Parent chaperons were assigned a group, maps given and we were off!

The kids were really excited going from one animal to the next. There was hardly a pause between each exhibit, as their attention spans mirrored that of the pincher bug I stepped on. Their movements were quick, voices were jovial. I wondered how much the animals were admiring the kids.

We saw many familiar species, and some animals I have never seen before. We spied the tortoise eating grass with electric speed and two foxes who were napping in the sun. We saw shiny black seals and a family of giraffes. There were anteaters and parrots, tigers and bears. Wildlife surrounded us on all sides, making it seem like we were stepping into their world instead of the animals finding a place in ours.

My favorite were the flamingos. Graceful and still, taking in sips of water. Perched on one leg while the other was tucked underneath, these birds were fun to watch. A pink bird - God has such a wild imagination.

As we headed back to the bus, I tucked my camera away cherishing the shots I got of my baby girl. What a wonderful memory we will always share.

Prairie dogs and zebra might seem run of the mill to some. But like the flamingo, a day at the zoo with a Kindergarten class is anything but ordinary.

A Good Read

I turned the last page yesterday, hoping to lull myself to sleep. It was almost midnight, and my body seemed just as jumpy and the pages set before me. The story came to a mind altering crescendo. I was spinning as I turned off the light.

A dear friend of mine invited me to read this Pulitzer prize winner with her. How could I resist? Neither one of us had read this classic, and with our eyes set on becoming writers, reading always seems like good schooling.

I was never much of a reader growing up - labeled a "reading comprehension problem." All through school anytime I was instructed to read, my brain would clam up and my stomach would tighten. Oh sure, I could read okay, but ask me about what I read and I wouldn't have a clue.

I really believe that God has healed me from such discouragement. Nowadays, I can actually pick up a book and genuinely follow along. I know who the author is referring to, and I am able to follow the pronouns and nick names. This has not always been the case.

Reading has become a favorite for me, discovering how amazingly God can heal through the story of another person - real or fiction. I will often times find myself in the shoes of the protagonist, working my way out of this corner or that. I am taken to other lands, and even to other time periods, all while reclining next to my dog Ginger.

If you are like me, and have managed to grow up without reading this story, I encourage you to pick it up. Every book has the potential to stir something new on the inside of you. This book is filled with likable characters and the wonder of adolescence.

If you decide to tag along, you'll be amazed at what's found through the eyes of a young girl some folks like to call Scout.

Quick Take

My son Matthew pitched five innings the other night against the Lugnuts. I couldn't have been prouder! Standing up on that pitcher's mount takes a lot of courage. There was a lot of pressure on him to perform - to get that ball over the plate . . . nice and easy.

Capturing the moment, I fought the wind and a chain link fence with my video camera. Gusts of dust were not going to get in my way. There I stood, on the other side of the fence, watching my baby boy grow into a man. It was all on him, Mom couldn't rescue him this time. Even if I did feel like going out there and giving him a hug, it would have been the very wrong thing to do. There was nothing I could do but watch, and pray that God would help him throw straight.

The next evening, we hooked the event up to our large screen TV, making Matthew a star. It was magical seeing him in his element. Tears filled my eyes as only a mom's could.

We pulled out some of the older videos as well, and spent the evening reminiscing. Makayla with her little blond tufts of hair and her Binky, Mikey and his Christmas program-- too cute!! Comparing those images with the giants on my couch made me realize just how quickly they grow.

The Bible says that children are a heritage from the Lord. I would have to agree. Nothing has grown me more than motherhood, nothing has brought me as much joy and pain all in the same breath.

Moments captured, moments truly lived. It is my hope that when my kids grow up, that they will look back and see that God was very much a part of our birthday parties, sporting events and Christmas mornings - all in the form of Love.

Steps

Itsy bitsy teeny weenie baby steps to normalcy. As I continue getting stronger after surgery, things seem to be moving one step forward, two back. While physically I am able to do more, emotionally I'm a little bit off kilter. What I've discovered today is that it's all about perception. Like the old saying goes, "I'm not where I should be, but at least I'm not where I used to be!"

Hormones can be a pretty strange thing to contend with. Feeling fine one minute, but in the next -- who can really tell? My poor husband, he has been so wonderfully patient through all of this. He had to ask me this afternoon which of my "personalities" he was dealing with at the moment. Pretty bad, I know.

What adds salt to a festering wound, is the loathing of my own behavior. I literally felt ugly today, on the inside and the out. It's not a very good thing when you can't even stand to keep company with your self. But as I wrestled today, not knowing which end was up - there was one thing certain. God never left me for a moment.

He listened as I poured a hurting heart into my journal. He watched closely, when I was given the choice to obey - and I chose not to. He received my repentant retort, and wrapped His arms around me, even in my unlovable state.

As the day comes to an end, I find a bit of joy bubbling up, erasing the shadows casted earlier. As I take these steps toward recovery ,I am reminded of how far God has already carried me. I trust that He will continue to take me through to the last stretch.

Grace is where I rest tonight, as I decide to give myself a break. If God can overlook a day like today, why shouldn't I?