Resemble

Bit by bit, God is healing this heart. Strangled by years of insecurity and fear, I am beginning to recognize my own voice again -- for the first time in probably thirty years. I've learned to silence her so well, that I've forgotten what she sounds like. How wonderfully it feels to be free.

Looking back to my younger years, before I committed my life to Christ, there was nothing but darkness. I operated in a state of mass confusion, looking this place and that for fulfillment only to wind up empty-handed and broken. The moment God made His first appearance in my heart, I knew things would be different. Far better than any self-help strategy, I was finally at a place where I understood that I couldn't help myself.

The difference is like night and day. The shadows have disappeared, darkness (though continuously looming) is kept at bay. Courage breaks through blankets of paralysis, one mountain at a time. Even on the outside I look different. I look at pictures of myself from years back, and I can honestly say that I look nothing like that shell of a girl. My companionship with Christ has made me a new creation.

God has taken me to places I've never even dreamed - convincing me that yes, He wants to use me to build His Kingdom. Lil' ol' me!! I have taken the appropriate steps. More times than not I have heard and obeyed His voice, always to the demise of my flesh. But deeper still is a tangled ball of uncertainty, that is manifest through guilt, condemnation and fear. On the outside nobody would notice. The torment is within, and sadly, God's ambassador finds herself in a familiar prison, filled with shackles and lies.

I post today on this subject, not to disclose the delicate underbelly of my being, but for the glory of the One who will bring deliverance. I've come a very long way, God has healed so much! But there is more He wants to uncover, new places to find healing for. I am making my way toward freedom, one dip into God's Word after another. His TRUTH is my only hope.

And when all is said and done, I will look nothing at all like that little blond waif . . . from head to toe the girl within will look a lot like the One who ransomed her life.

I will most resemble Him.

(I recommend two links if you would like to read more about insecurity and combating the lies of the enemy. Visit "A Day in the Life" and "Dave's Wave - March 16" for other great views.)